You know you're in trouble when you get to the table and...


Pathfinder Society

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Grand Lodge 2/5 *

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Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

The gnome alchemist has the highest strength. :)

Silver Crusade 4/5

1 person marked this as a favorite.

The Barbarian has the highest Intelligence and 2nd lowest strength.

Grand Lodge 4/5

5 people marked this as a favorite.

The fighter has both the lowest hit points and the lowest AC.

Dark Archive 2/5

1 person marked this as a favorite.

The sorcerer has the second lowest CHA and is wearing heavy armor.

Alternatively, you realize the paladin has the highest CHA and lowest STR.

The Exchange 4/5 5/5

59 people marked this as a favorite.

The three new players already at the 7-11 table are staring intently at their Harsk pregen sheets at asking each other "how do you regenerate mana in this game?"

Shadow Lodge 4/5

When the only melee is a gnome ninja.

Yes, this happened. Yes, it was a tpk.

3/5 RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16

28 people marked this as a favorite.

...Drendle Dreng thinks it's too dangerous for your party to go on the mission.

5/5 5/55/55/5

21 people marked this as a favorite.

... EVERYONE tries to copy out of your spellbook.

... The necromancer an the paladin are already arguing if "smite evil noogies" are PVP or not.

...The animal companion is so pimped out it has spinners

... you have enough bards to name your party the choir.

... the animal companion has the highest charisma in the party

... the only social skill at the table is the barbarians intimidate

.. Harsk. Just. ... Harsk....

... the DM screen has little stamps of squished adventurers covering most of the outside

... you're playing a 7=11 and the wizard says Don't worry, I'll magic missile it to death with my wand.

.. Harsk

... The rule lawyers core book has been worn down to duct tape

5/5

... the Monk dumped Wisdom.

Dark Archive 5/5 *

2 people marked this as a favorite.

you are playing tier 7/8 and the other 5 players are all playing pregens. of course there's at least 1 Harsk. (keeping up with the badgering of Harsk)

the gm says this is his 5th time gming and he's only killed 10 pcs.

the highest will save amongst the entire party (playing tier 4/5 or higher) is +2

everyone has a wand of CLW but noone can use them. What? no one has a potion either?

5/5 RPG Superstar 2014 Top 32

2 people marked this as a favorite.
RainyDayNinja wrote:
...Drendle Dreng thinks it's too dangerous for your party to go on the mission.

Dreng will still send you on the mission. He'll just be kind enough to let you sleep in, first.

2/5

5 people marked this as a favorite.

...the GM checks to make sure everyone has at least 16 prestige points saved up.

Harsk:
What's the deal with Harsk? I've never seen him played. I don't think anyone in my area could even point at the right pregen picture if you named him.

Shadow Lodge 4/5

7 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens Subscriber

...the sum of the party's Charisma modifiers is negative. (I have had this happen, on a roleplay-centric scenario.)

...the phrase "I've got a wand" is said after someone asks "Do we have a healer?"

..."No, I'm a melee sorcerer."

Grand Lodge 4/5 5/55/5 ** Venture-Lieutenant, Florida—Melbourne

15 people marked this as a favorite.

...the highest social skill in the party is a +0 and the title of the mod contains the words "murder", "wedding" or "feast."

...you hear the party wizard yell out "Fire in the hole!" and everyone in the party is in the hole.

...the party gunslinger can't hit the monsters.

...you are a party of first level characters with starting gold equipment and your first encounter is a Spider Swarm.

...you just encountered a group of Harpies and everyone at the table simultaneously cries out, "Crap! I have a low will save!"

...you just sat down to play a Year 4 mod with a group of people who all just barely survived their last Year 1 mod.

...your life oracle whose cracked out for healing and buffing asks who the best damage dealer in the party is and the answer comes back, "You."

...the entire party is using Aid Another to help the sorcerer hit the monster because he is the only one in the party who can do enough damage to get past the monster's Hardness. (That one is actually a true story.)

Grand Lodge 5/5

1 person marked this as a favorite.
BigNorseWolf wrote:
... you're playing a 7=11 and the wizard says Don't worry, I'll magic missile it to death with my wand.

My level 9 Diviner loves Magic Missile. Lesser metamagic Toppling rod FTW. ;)

The Exchange 5/5

3 people marked this as a favorite.

I read all these... and then realized I'm been in most of those games.

Scarab Sages 4/5

10 people marked this as a favorite.

Osprey

5/5 5/55/55/5

8 people marked this as a favorite.
Jason Hanlon wrote:

...the GM checks to make sure everyone has at least 16 prestige points saved up.

** spoiler omitted **

Spoiler:
Harsk
  • Primarily uses a heavy crossbow, which is a horrible weapon with NO upsides
  • Doesn't have point blank and precise shot at first level, resulting in an effective -8 to his attacks
  • Is using strength/dex attacks with a race that enhances neither
  • is harsk
  • Is using a crossbow
  • wastes feats using a crossbow
  • is harsk

The Exchange 5/5

2 people marked this as a favorite.

wait! I know the answer!
"You know you're in trouble when you get to the table and... " everyone there recognizes me!

Grand Lodge 2/5

The Beard wrote:
Alternatively, you realize the paladin has the highest CHA and lowest STR.

Wait, I think I have this character . . . Does it count as mitigating circumstances that he's a gnome, or does that make things worse?


1 person marked this as a favorite.

There are 5 players, and not a single double digit hit-die among them.
I GMed for this group, and while they were split-up, one half was soundly defeated by 3 purposefully un-optimized thugs. For some reason, one of them got mad.

The Exchange 5/5

Green Smashomancer wrote:

There are 5 players, and not a single double digit hit-die among them.

I GMed for this group, and while they were split-up, one half was soundly defeated by 3 purposefully un-optimized thugs. For some reason, one of them got mad.

what's a "...double digit hit-die ..."?


4 people marked this as a favorite.

...nobody but YOU has their own dice...

The Exchange 5/5

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Randarak wrote:
...nobody but YOU has their own dice...

LOL! this is not a problem! I've had it happen more than once, and easily have enough for everyone at the table...

On second thought: if they all say "I don't need dice, I have this AP on my phone...", then I guess I'd have to agree with your statement

Grand Lodge 2/5 RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

4 people marked this as a favorite.

...someone says "You're okay with GMing instead, right?"

...you almost pass out from the smell.

...someone is scrunching their eyebrows at their mostly-blank character sheet while asking "What's the hit die for a wizard?"

...the person who just mentioned that they haven't played this character in a year and a half is answered with a chorus of "Yeah, same here."

1/5

28 people marked this as a favorite.

...hear, "Hi, I'm Kyle Baird and I'll be your GM today!"

Liberty's Edge 5/5

Harsk is designed more as a roleplay character than a viable adventurer. He carries a heavy crossbow and a big Axe. He's really good with the Axe, but his back story says he prefers the crossbow. So at level 7 he's shooting once a round. And he has a crappy badger companion.

2/5

6 people marked this as a favorite.

You know you're in trouble when you sit down and ask if the party has a face. Everyone looks around and decides that your character, who is known for screwing up social encounters in hilarious ways, is now elected as team lead and party face.

"Do you really want OKAY THEN!" Clasps hands together eagerly.

Harsk:
Wow... That's a shame. He looks so Kewl!

Silver Crusade

9 people marked this as a favorite.

...the GM says, "Hold on, I'm finishing reading the adventure."

Silver Crusade 1/5

nosig wrote:


what's a "...double digit hit-die ..."?

A d10 or d12. So no fighters, barbarians, paladins etc. in the group.

5/5 5/55/55/5

8 people marked this as a favorite.

The DM asks "Where the heck is Absolom?"

2/5

7 people marked this as a favorite.

...as a GM, you ask if anyone has any special abilities you need to know about and everyone raises their hand.

Grand Lodge 1/5

4 people marked this as a favorite.

When your Monk with a couple points in UMD is the party healer...

2/5

The Morphling wrote:
...the phrase "I've got a wand" is said after someone asks "Do we have a healer?"

This has happened. In a 7-9 scenario no less. *Shudder*

Grand Lodge 2/5 RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

6 people marked this as a favorite.
Jason Hanlon wrote:
The Morphling wrote:
...the phrase "I've got a wand" is said after someone asks "Do we have a healer?"
This has happened. In a 7-9 scenario no less. *Shudder*

Uh, this happens all the time where I play. It's never a problem; rather, it's the norm. Having an actual healer is pretty rare, in fact.

5/5 5/55/55/5

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Ditto. Its wands or busts at least half the time at 7+

Grand Lodge 5/5

5 people marked this as a favorite.

...the guy with rippling biceps and longsword says "I swear I'm a wizard"

...you realize the 10-12 int fighter is the brains of the outfit

...you hear the words "Hao Jin Tapestry"

3/5 RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16

4 people marked this as a favorite.

...the most experienced person there still thinks Weapon Finesse adds Dex to damage (true story)

Shadow Lodge 4/5

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens Subscriber

...when people begin using "Cure Light Wounds" during combat in Tier 7-11.

Jiggy wrote:
Jason Hanlon wrote:
The Morphling wrote:
...the phrase "I've got a wand" is said after someone asks "Do we have a healer?"
This has happened. In a 7-9 scenario no less. *Shudder*
Uh, this happens all the time where I play. It's never a problem; rather, it's the norm. Having an actual healer is pretty rare, in fact.

Yeah, same. It's not an unusual occurrence - usually we survive, but I think some of those CLW wands have burst into flames from over-use.

Jason Hanlon wrote:

You know you're in trouble when you sit down and ask if the party has a face. Everyone looks around and decides that your character, who is known for screwing up social encounters in hilarious ways, is now elected as team lead and party face.

"Do you really want OKAY THEN!" Clasps hands together eagerly.

** spoiler omitted **

Is this Farkle (who I still haven't met! T_T) or Korr? Because I have SEEN Korr diplomacy and I want no part of that ever again!

3/5

...when I'm at your table and you enjoy combat. Or if you're afraid of splitting the party. Or if you don't like feeling challenged. Or if...(etc etc)

-Matt, "So pretty please, with sugar on top, put the gun away."

2/5

Huh. I guess my area is cleric heavy? O.O

In my experience, doing 1-5 tier scenarios with wands only is no problem, but higher tier scenarios get much more lethal without some significant form of in-combat healing. In theory, the party should have an easier time because they're defeating the enemies that much faster. In practice, the party easily wipes the small fights but the improved action econonmy falls apart in the big fights as various front liners step out of combat to self-heal.

Then again, we're a relatively young lodge. A lot of the builds I see are not optimized for higher tier play. Hopefully things will change as we all gain experience.

EDIT: Yeah, what The Morphling said. :)

Morphling: Actually, I was quoting a moment that actually happened with Dominus. I've had it happen with Korr and Farkle though, too. In Farkle's case, it only happened once. People CAN learn, after all. ;)

Grand Lodge 2/5

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Michael Meunier wrote:
...the guy with rippling biceps and longsword says "I swear I'm a wizard"

What of it?

Says a 12th-level PC who wears armor and fights with a longsword but also flies for 12 hours a day and enjoys the occasional Empowered fireball.

Shadow Lodge 4/5

9 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens Subscriber
Jason Hanlon wrote:
action econonmy falls apart in the big fights as various front liners step out of combat to self-heal.

It makes me want to claw my eyes out whenever the two-handed fighter or someone similar makes a full withdraw down the hallway, then pulls out a Cure Light Wounds potion and drinks it, then delays so the cleric can walk over to him and heal him, and then he moves back into oh wait the magus already killed all six of them because you took five rounds to heal eleven damage at level seven.

Liberty's Edge 2/5

7 people marked this as a favorite.

...when I sit at the table as my Golden Legionnaire/Cavalier of the Dragon, and the table hates teamwork.

- Alright folks, everyone has 10 rounds of Shield Wall and I grant people adjacent +2 to your shield AC and immediate action +5 to your over all AC...where are you going? Why are you even going over there? Your purposely standing 10 feet away while being flanked! WHY???

Yea. The cavalier has a few individuals he enjoys running with. Those who understand his crazy buffery.

Shadow Lodge 4/5

7 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens Subscriber
Jason Hanlon wrote:
Morphling: Actually, I was quoting a moment that actually happened with Dominus. I've had it happen with Korr and Farkle though, too. In Farkle's case, it only happened once. People CAN learn, after all. ;)

Oh! Dominus! I remember him. Such a gentleman, with such politeness and tact. He was the one who bought a slave while at the same table as two Andorans, right? :P

Liberty's Edge 2/5

1 person marked this as a favorite.
The Morphling wrote:
Jason Hanlon wrote:
action econonmy falls apart in the big fights as various front liners step out of combat to self-heal.
It makes me want to claw my eyes out whenever the two-handed fighter or someone similar makes a full withdraw down the hallway, then pulls out a Cure Light Wounds potion and drinks it, then delays so the cleric can walk over to him and heal him, and then he moves back into oh wait the magus already killed all six of them because you took five rounds to heal eleven damage at level seven.

This all comes down to tactics. High level play success is 65% tactics, 30% party comp, %5 build type

Liberty's Edge 2/5

1 person marked this as a favorite.
The Morphling wrote:
Jason Hanlon wrote:
Morphling: Actually, I was quoting a moment that actually happened with Dominus. I've had it happen with Korr and Farkle though, too. In Farkle's case, it only happened once. People CAN learn, after all. ;)
Oh! Dominus! I remember him. Such a gentleman, with such politeness and tact. He was the one who bought a slave while at the same table as two Andorans, right? :P

No, no andorans at the table. The resident Andorans were GMing that day.

Liberty's Edge 4/5

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Zach Williams wrote:

...when I sit at the table as my Golden Legionnaire/Cavalier of the Dragon, and the table hates teamwork.

- Alright folks, everyone has 10 rounds of Shield Wall and I grant people adjacent +2 to your shield AC and immediate action +5 to your over all AC...where are you going? Why are you even going over there? Your purposely standing 10 feet away while being flanked! WHY???

Yea. The cavalier has a few individuals he enjoys running with. Those who understand his crazy buffery.

Yes Sir, Knight-Captain Lyran Sir! *salutes*

2/5

On the other hand, I think Lyran is single-handedly responsible for several players who actually view teamwork as something worthwhile now. ;)

*Kyras salutes*

Shadow Lodge 4/5

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens Subscriber
Jason Hanlon wrote:
On the other hand, I think Lyran is single-handedly responsible for several players who actually view teamwork as something worthwhile now. ;)

And one big reason the Diamond City did not fall!

*HUZZAH!*

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