The LGBT Gamer Community Thread.


Gamer Life General Discussion

8,601 to 8,650 of 18,884 << first < prev | 168 | 169 | 170 | 171 | 172 | 173 | 174 | 175 | 176 | 177 | 178 | next > last >>

Freehold DM wrote:
thejeff wrote:
If I'm a straight guy and 5 out of 5 women I hit on are gay, I'm doing something wrong.
I find that to be untrue, as noone wears signs on their head.

It's possible of course it would just be a string of bad luck, but the odds are very low by that point that I'm getting a random sample. Which suggest some kind of bias in my selection process.


I find myself just lacking gay guys in my life, so I inevitably hit/crush on straight guys. It sucks that dating women has just been a more viable option in my life.


3 people marked this as a favorite.

News from the Poland:

Polish parliament passed a law regulating and simplifying the legal aspect of sex change (or more accurately adjustment of sex in legal documents). Still needs a presidential signature to be valid.

252 votes for, 158 against, 11 abstained.

The law will simplify the procedure - but it will be done by single court in Poland based upon two medical opinions, without need of suing your parents. To apply one has to have full legal rights and not be married... Huh, this might mean that married trasnfolks might need to divorce before applying. I have no faintest idea how that worked before for married*.

*Polish Constitution states that "Marriage as an union of a man and a woman, family, maternity and parenthood are under protection and care of Republic Of Poland". There is a debate if this is a restriction preventing other forms of marriage or if it would only result of lack of special protection to non-traditional marriages.

Silver Crusade Contributor

6 people marked this as a favorite.

Big thank-you to Crystal Frasier for rewriting the errata-ed elixir of sex shift - it now allows for nonbinary options! :D


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Drejk wrote:

News from the Poland:

Polish parliament passed a law regulating and simplifying the legal aspect of sex change (or more accurately adjustment of sex in legal documents). Still needs a presidential signature to be valid.

252 votes for, 158 against, 11 abstained.

The law will simplify the procedure - but it will be done by single court in Poland based upon two medical opinions, without need of suing your parents. To apply one has to have full legal rights and not be married... Huh, this might mean that married trasnfolks might need to divorce before applying. I have no faintest idea how that worked before for married*.

*Polish Constitution states that "Marriage as an union of a man and a woman, family, maternity and parenthood are under protection and care of Republic Of Poland". There is a debate if this is a restriction preventing other forms of marriage or if it would only result of lack of special protection to non-traditional marriages.

Having a transgendered member of parliament was influential on passing this law.

Shadow Lodge

Pathfinder Maps, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber; Starfinder Superscriber
Drejk wrote:
To apply one has to have full legal rights and not be married... Huh, this might mean that married trasnfolks might need to divorce before applying. I have no faintest idea how that worked before for married*.

For many years, if you changed your gender in England, you simultaneously were issued a divorce.

What this does is prevents same-sex marriages from existing. I believe England changed this provision shortly after allowing same-sex marriages, though that would have happened during a period when I wasn't paying close attention.

Ironically, for all the fight over same-sex marriages we've been having in the US, we never had this auto-divorce clause in gender change so we have actually had same-sex marriages for *decades*. (Which is why I refer to my marriage as an "old-fashioned same-sex marriage".) But apparently it hasn't been worth it for either side in the debate to bring that up.

Silver Crusade System Administrator

A lot of places don't let you change any of your documentation.

Silver Crusade

As someone who has 3 close family members who are guy and out, I find it mind Boggling that any one has a problem with anyone form the LGBT community for being who they are. Yet you see it time and time again.


pH unbalanced wrote:
Drejk wrote:
To apply one has to have full legal rights and not be married... Huh, this might mean that married trasnfolks might need to divorce before applying. I have no faintest idea how that worked before for married*.

For many years, if you changed your gender in England, you simultaneously were issued a divorce.

What this does is prevents same-sex marriages from existing. I believe England changed this provision shortly after allowing same-sex marriages, though that would have happened during a period when I wasn't paying close attention.

Ironically, for all the fight over same-sex marriages we've been having in the US, we never had this auto-divorce clause in gender change so we have actually had same-sex marriages for *decades*. (Which is why I refer to my marriage as an "old-fashioned same-sex marriage".) But apparently it hasn't been worth it for either side in the debate to bring that up.

After the news of the law spread of course there were bunch of comments from various homophobic ass***s that this is a stealth ruling to allow gay marriage because the legal sex adjustment does not require physical transition so the gays will change their legal gender to get married with their partners. Ugh. Repeat to myself once again: do not read comments under political news...


pH unbalanced wrote:
Drejk wrote:
To apply one has to have full legal rights and not be married... Huh, this might mean that married trasnfolks might need to divorce before applying. I have no faintest idea how that worked before for married*.
For many years, if you changed your gender in England, you simultaneously were issued a divorce.

Ah, I found a note how that worked before in Poland: Because without specific regulations, the courts worked on basis that the parents made an error estimating their child's sex, the procedure for judicial correction an error in official document. That was the basis for nullification of marriage as invalid instead of obligatory divorce.


pH unbalanced wrote:
Ironically, for all the fight over same-sex marriages we've been having in the US, we never had this auto-divorce clause in gender change so we have actually had same-sex marriages for *decades*. (Which is why I refer to my marriage as an "old-fashioned same-sex marriage".) But apparently it hasn't been worth it for either side in the debate to bring that up.

I'm not so sure whether its a case of 'worth it'. I'd hazard a guess and say its actual genuine oversight. First off, I never considered it. Now, I'm a smart cookie, maybe not as smart as decades worth of politicians but, well, its something. Second, I'm sure that if they were aware of it they would've fought against it.

Now whether its better to have gone unconsidered or to be deemed unimportant is another question... Then again, why care? You have what you want so don't rock that boat!

Jonny...Panic wrote:
As someone who has 3 close family members who are guy and out, I find it mind Boggling that any one has a problem with anyone form the LGBT community for being who they are. Yet you see it time and time again.

There is no legitimate reasoning for that perspective and corresponding behavior (at least that I'm aware of. I sure do hope its true!). Its always a kneejerk reaction based on traditional cultural, religious or political values. Oh, and the fear that it is somehow contagious. And that we're rapacious sex-addicts.

Dark Archive

8 people marked this as a favorite.

I hope I'm not out of line sharing this here, but living with three trans people for the past two years has really opened my eyes to the almost constant struggle that you all have to go through. For what it's worth, from a straight white dude, I wish you all the greatest blessings and providences. You are all heroes, and I'm proud to stand with you now, and in the future.

Blessings and honor,
TP

Silver Crusade Contributor

Tabletop Prophet wrote:

I hope I'm not out of line sharing this here, but living with three trans people for the past two years has really opened my eyes to the almost constant struggle that you all have to go through. For what it's worth, from a straight white dude, I wish you all the greatest blessings and providences. You are all heroes, and I'm proud to stand with you now, and in the future.

Blessings and honor,
TP

Really great to hear this... ^_^


2 people marked this as a favorite.
Lissa Guillet wrote:
The Doomkitten wrote:
Every once in a while, whenever I do a cis thing, I panic. "What if I'm not trans*?!!" I ask myself. Then, I realize a few things. A) The fact that I'm panicking about the possibility of being cis is a pretty big indication that I'm not. And B) The fact that I've considered taking a knife to my junk a few times in addition to seriously considering hormones offers some evidence for being trans*.
Been there. First point of advice, they need your junk to make your new junk. If you're trans you'll want it, if not you'll still want it. Also, by the time you get to my age, you'll look back and wonder a bit how you could internalize so much of the crap that society puts on women. Doing things that are not stereotypical female things is not a bad thing. There are things you have to learn to make good decisions on that but a lot of those lessons don't come without living your life that way for awhile.

I know that wasn't directed at me, but thanks. I needed to hear that.

Silver Crusade RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32

3 people marked this as a favorite.
Kalindlara wrote:
Big thank-you to Crystal Frasier for rewriting the errata-ed elixir of sex shift - it now allows for nonbinary options! :D

Holy moly! This is an amazing rewrite! For reference:

Advanced Class Guide Errata wrote:

In Elixir of Sex

Shift, change the description to the following:
Upon drinking this elixir, a character permanently
transforms their biology to take on a different set of
sexual characteristics of their choice. While the imbiber’s
physiology changes dramatically and their features
adjust slightly to take on the new qualities, the imbiber is
still recognizable as the same person. The character has
only minor control over the specific details of this new
appearance, and the elixir grants no benefit on Disguise
skill checks or similar checks.
This elixir’s magic functions instantaneously and
can’t be dispelled, though drinking a second elixir of sex
Pathfinder RPG Advanced Class Guide
First Printing, Update 1.0
9
shift either reverts the character back to a former form
or allows them to adopt alternate sexual characteristics,
as they choose. The elixir has no effect on characters
who are pregnant or are of races with no sexual
differentiation. Most races have a wide spectrum of
sexual differentiation, some common, others more rare.
Therefore, most creatures can decide how this elixir
transforms them. An unwilling imbiber can choose not
to change at all.

So not only does it allow for nonbinary options and correcting for specific gender dysphoria in the user, people won't be talking about using it for weird forced body alteration on infants to match up with hetero- and cisnormative medieval inheritance politics.


mechaPoet wrote:
people won't be talking about using it for weird forced body alteration on infants to match up with hetero- and cisnormative medieval inheritance politics.

Not that this should ever be a thing at all, considering there are literally no sex or gender-based mechanical differences in D&D (or PF, for that matter), and therefore, statistically speaking, all sex and genders display the same capacity for any societal role.

Very good change to the elixir, though. Kudos to that!


Or to read it slightly differently (assuming the very young are willing imbibers): wealthy enough people could afford to feed elixirs of sex to their new-borns, thus ensuring they always possess the sexual characteristics they identify with well before being introduced to gender stereotypes/societal influence.

Project Manager

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Shadow Knight 12 wrote:
mechaPoet wrote:
people won't be talking about using it for weird forced body alteration on infants to match up with hetero- and cisnormative medieval inheritance politics.
Not that this should ever be a thing at all, considering there are literally no sex or gender-based mechanical differences in D&D (or PF, for that matter), and therefore, statistically speaking, all sex and genders display the same capacity for any societal role.

That's true -- there aren't mechanical differences, and all genders have the same capacity for any societal role, but there are areas of the world that have gender-based limitations. E.g. a woman can't inherit the Taldan throne (unless that's gotten changed), and your membership in a Keleshite merchant or noble family is matrilineal, meaning that those families aren't likely to pass their wealth to their sons if they have other options, since any children those sons have will be members of a different house.

I'm not sure we'd ever do a plot like that, but there might be reasons people in Golarion would seek magical or other means to ensure the gender of their child.

But the elixir of sex shift isn't one of those means, unless the child already identifies as that gender.


Jessica Price wrote:
Shadow Knight 12 wrote:
mechaPoet wrote:
people won't be talking about using it for weird forced body alteration on infants to match up with hetero- and cisnormative medieval inheritance politics.
Not that this should ever be a thing at all, considering there are literally no sex or gender-based mechanical differences in D&D (or PF, for that matter), and therefore, statistically speaking, all sex and genders display the same capacity for any societal role.
That's true -- there aren't mechanical differences, and all genders have the same capacity for any societal role, but there are areas of the world that have gender-based limitations. E.g. a woman can't inherit the Taldan throne (unless that's gotten changed), and your membership in a Keleshite merchant or noble family is matrilineal, meaning that those families aren't likely to pass their wealth to their sons if they have other options, since any children those sons have will be members of a different house.

Different societies absolutely have different gender roles/gender differentiation... which is part of why I don't think feeding an elixir of shift sex to an infant or even a very young child would necessarily have much effect, even if it would later in their life. Someone who might feel comfortable as one gender in, say, Taldor, may feel differently if they were raised in a different society with different gender norms.

All of my other thoughts on use of the item in this present conversational topic revolve more around 'what does "choice" actually mean in this case' and issues of non-magical coercion and other things that, quite honestly, I'm very happy not thinking too deeply about or chatting on the subject of.

Silver Crusade System Administrator

4 people marked this as a favorite.

Well, it might certainly work for people who are on one or the other side of gender. Being transgender though, has little to do with gender roles. Comfortability in the roles is a far different thing being comfortable in ones bodies. You know, just saying. =)


Jessica Price wrote:


That's true -- there aren't mechanical differences, and all genders have the same capacity for any societal role, but there are areas of the world that have gender-based limitations. E.g. a woman can't inherit the Taldan throne (unless that's gotten changed), and your membership in a Keleshite merchant or noble family is matrilineal, meaning that those families aren't likely to pass their wealth to their sons if they have other options, since any children those sons have will be members of a different house.

That could be an interesting AP plot and one that could favor either evil or good parties...

Have a Taldan Princess be the next in line if she were male, but the Taldan relatives (uncles, or maybe even more distant) will take the throne anyways...and perhaps have her executed.

Therefore, the party has to prevent the execution by having her take up the Taldan throne.

Would they then be the good guys for saving her life and getting her the throne, or the bad guys for stopping what could be the legitimate rulers in Taldan Law from taking the throne and doing what they deem necessary to secure it?

At the same time, would they be lawful as per the Taldan laws, or chaotic in helping the Princess.

Would make an interesting AP I think!

Silver Crusade

GreyWolfLord wrote:
or the bad guys for stopping what could be the legitimate rulers in Taldan Law from taking the throne and doing what they deem necessary to secure it?

Um, yeah, no. Antagonistic towards the bad guys obviously but just because you oppose the "legitimate" authority doesn't make you evil.


Rysky wrote:
GreyWolfLord wrote:
or the bad guys for stopping what could be the legitimate rulers in Taldan Law from taking the throne and doing what they deem necessary to secure it?
Um, yeah, no. Antagonistic towards the bad guys obviously but just because you oppose the "legitimate" authority doesn't make you evil.

True, it depends on how you go about it I suppose. However, if they are simply trying to stop a usurper from gaining their throne (The reason for the execution), and are the best at ensuring the safety and security of the realm, are you the good guy for trying to stop them and make safety and security disappear?

Silver Crusade

GreyWolfLord wrote:
Rysky wrote:
GreyWolfLord wrote:
or the bad guys for stopping what could be the legitimate rulers in Taldan Law from taking the throne and doing what they deem necessary to secure it?
Um, yeah, no. Antagonistic towards the bad guys obviously but just because you oppose the "legitimate" authority doesn't make you evil.
True, it depends on how you go about it I suppose. However, if they are simply trying to stop a usurper from gaining their throne (The reason for the execution), and are the best at ensuring the safety and security of the realm, are you the good guy for trying to stop them and make safety and security disappear?

By protecting someone who falls under "well I was born so I'm going to be killed unless I'm put on the throne"?

Yes

Silver Crusade RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32

Actually, speaking of Taldan princesses...


pH unbalanced wrote:
Bob_Loblaw wrote:
Since we've now had a successful penile transplant, I wonder if there will be transwomen donating theirs to transmen. I think this opens up a new era in (re)constructive surgery.
That wouldn't work, because they use some penile tissue during SRS for the construction of the neovagina. Part of what you are trying to do is preserve as many nerve connections as possible so that you can remain sensate.

Appropos of nothing (aside from a story from the Hot Blood series of books), neovagina is now my favorite neologism du jour. It spurs the urge for GURPS and TransHuman Space.

It also moves the needle on certain personal issues for me, that are purely my own problem but don't impact anything other than my own personal conflicts that have been experienced.


Freehold DM wrote:
thejeff wrote:

If I'm a straight guy and 5 out of 5 women I hit on are gay, I'm doing something wrong.

I find that to be untrue, as noone wears signs on their head.

Oh, NOW you tell me.

Though this makes me wonder what vibe I'm giving off that makes for the sheer amount of hitting-on from guys that I get.

Liberty's Edge

mechaPoet wrote:
Actually, speaking of Taldan princesses...

My Google-fu is failing me right now, but I seem to recall at least one woman who strongarmed the courts into declaring her a man to inherit.


5 people marked this as a favorite.

Hello, everyone!

It's been a while since I've posted in this particular thread - most of my time for the messageboards lately has been occupied with trying to get into one or another play-by-post game for a chance to unwind, and I've been balancing several other projects in real life, but some of all of that's starting to come together, so I'm trying to get back here more often.

I just thought I'd share some happiness from my life, just to try to add my little bit to the positivity that this thread so often inspires, reminding us that sometimes life can be quite nice. Anyway, it was Pride in my part of the world last week, and for the first time in my life, I went, and had a very nice time. I was able to read some poetry at an open mic night, and marched in the parade with the contingent from my university. I find it humbling to think of all of the support I've received that made it possible for me to actually do those things, from family, from friends, and even from safe spaces to talk about all sorts of things, like here. Thanks to all you folks for bearing with this queer trans woman's occasional and sometimes maudlin ramblings.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
TheAntiElite wrote:
pH unbalanced wrote:
Bob_Loblaw wrote:
Since we've now had a successful penile transplant, I wonder if there will be transwomen donating theirs to transmen. I think this opens up a new era in (re)constructive surgery.
That wouldn't work, because they use some penile tissue during SRS for the construction of the neovagina. Part of what you are trying to do is preserve as many nerve connections as possible so that you can remain sensate.

Appropos of nothing (aside from a story from the Hot Blood series of books), neovagina is now my favorite neologism du jour. It spurs the urge for GURPS and TransHuman Space.

It also moves the needle on certain personal issues for me, that are purely my own problem but don't impact anything other than my own personal conflicts that have been experienced.

YOU LOVE HOT BLOOD TOO? YOU MEAN I'M NOT ALONE?!?!

Silver Crusade RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32

5 people marked this as a favorite.

Sometimes these forums are way exhausting...

Silver Crusade Contributor

1 person marked this as a favorite.
mechaPoet wrote:
Sometimes these forums are way exhausting...

Completely agree.

Personal:
I've been having a multi-day anxiety attack over some of it. :(


mechaPoet wrote:
Sometimes these forums are way exhausting...

Was it the thread I created? I must admit I didn't think it would end up quite as it did.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
mechaPoet wrote:
Sometimes these forums are way exhausting...

drinks a red bull, readjusts mouth guard, works with cut man, gets advice from trainer, gets back in there

Liberty's Edge

12 people marked this as a favorite.

Just wanted to share that my ladylove and I are going to celebrate tomorrow with our trans friend that he finally got the ID card with his new gender :-)

Silver Crusade RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32

3 people marked this as a favorite.
Kalindlara wrote:
mechaPoet wrote:
Sometimes these forums are way exhausting...

Completely agree.

** spoiler omitted **

<3

Rosita the Riveter wrote:
mechaPoet wrote:
Sometimes these forums are way exhausting...
Was it the thread I created? I must admit I didn't think it would end up quite as it did.

Yes and no. On the one hand, yes, the responses to that thread have left me frustrated because I don't really have the spoons to argue against a lot of misinformed hostility in there (or at least not in a constructive or on topic way). On the other hand, no, it's less about that thread particularly and more about the enormously hostile response that every thread about MOGAI issues receives every single time.

Project Manager

6 people marked this as a favorite.

Yep. And all the "completely free speech is the highest good in all situations" stuff is so unexamined, but I lack the energy and patience to untangle it for the 900th time. :-/

Silver Crusade System Administrator

7 people marked this as a favorite.
The black raven wrote:
Just wanted to share that my ladylove and I are going to celebrate tomorrow with our trans friend that he finally got the ID card with his new gender :-)

Nice! I finally got mine earlier this month after 15 years. I still pull it out occasionally unbelievingly.


4 people marked this as a favorite.
Jessica Price wrote:
Yep. And all the "completely free speech is the highest good in all situations" stuff is so unexamined, but I lack the energy and patience to untangle it for the 900th time. :-/

As often happens, xkcd sums up my take on that quite nicely.


3 people marked this as a favorite.
Jessica Price wrote:
Yep. And all the "completely free speech is the highest good in all situations" stuff is so unexamined, but I lack the energy and patience to untangle it for the 900th time. :-/

Δέχομαι. (Or, “Amen,” in a less Hellenic vein.) I know I’ve often miscalculated about how aggressive my tone might be, or how I might be inadvertently dragging a conversation out into directions that, however willing I might be to try to work through, could reasonably be thought likely to turn nasty and might be very uncomfortable (to say the least) for other people. In retrospect, every time it’s been pointed out to me here that I’ve inadvertently crossed the line, though, I’ve realized that I’m writing from a very sheltered and very fortunate perspective, and I can’t see that that’s more important than making sure everyone else is safe. There are other places for me to look at and talk about things that I find difficult myself.

On a happier note,

Lissa Guillet wrote:
The black raven wrote:
Just wanted to share that my ladylove and I are going to celebrate tomorrow with our trans friend that he finally got the ID card with his new gender :-)
Nice! I finally got mine earlier this month after 15 years. I still pull it out occasionally unbelievingly.

That’s wonderful! I’m still slowly talking things over with folks back home (I’m currently studying out-of-province) before making a formal application to have my name changed (and gender markers are still further off), because I’m not sure how finicky the process is and I don’t want to get too far in without knowing what’s likely to turn up. On the other hand, after talking with both the equity unit and the registrar at school, I’m relatively hopeful that I’ll be able to set the wheels in motion soon to get the name I actually use on my school ID and the vast majority of related documents.


I feel I'm missing something. Has Paizo introduced another LGBT+ character? What's this thread you guys are mentioning?


7 people marked this as a favorite.

I've deliberately avoided that thread. Past experiences have taught me that there are certain topics that just don't make for an enjoyable discussion, to me anyway. Its not the topic's fault, obviously, and I sure hope it isn't mine. I think that sensitive topics require a certain amount of focus, which is diluted the more people you add to the discussion (look to your government for examples outside of digital fora). In addition the larger the group the larger the desire to 'be loud' (exaggeration, provocation, controversy, condescension, insults etc.) in order to get ones voice heard (and have it be acknowledged by a direct response, which is what people really want/need in order to feel like they're heard.) further taking away from the enjoyability of the discussion. All in all its a massive drain on one's mental energy (possibly physical too, if you're anything like me).
And there's a lot of ignorance, too. Which I find hard to deal with. Sometimes I feel like educating, at other times I feel like shaming, there are times when it makes me feel cynical and hopeless and there's times where I feel it is just charmingly naive. I just don't know how to deal with that ambiguity so I prefer not to deal with it at all.

I would enjoy such a discussion in a smaller, more intimate setting, mostly devoid of the negative 'qualities' large scale and anonimity promote. Where I feel safe to ask for clarification and can disagree without fear of my head being bitten off immediately after opening my mouth. I need to feel like its possible for any party involved, including myself, to change their mind without appearing weak. I also need to feel safe that neither party has to change their mind at all, recognizing personal values and/or rationale, without being accused of stubbornly holding on to opinions without reason.

Shadow Knight 12, I don't know the exact title of the thread, but its somewhere in the veins of 'how do you handle homosexuality and transgenderism in your games'. It should be a little higher up (unless you read this immediately after me posting of course ;)) in this subforum.

I also get really tired of hot-topic Pathfinder threads. You know the ones. Martial-Caster Disparity, X sucks, X is OP etc. They're nothing but continuous restatements of the same things that were said years ago. It also seems like most people in those threads want to be heard but refuse to listen. Those threads make me sigh...

*siiiiiiiiigh*

Thankfully, there's a positive topic in this thread, too! One of my colleagues at the club where I volunteer backstage is a trans-girl (I may be saying it wrong. I'm not really familiar with the lingo) whom I knew before she realized, when she still thought she was a gay guy. A while ago (like a year or so) she finally received her updated papers. She was so happy with them it was the only thing she spoke about for weeks. Showing her ID to random guests as she drafted beers. It made me smile, hell, it made me laugh, with a joy I rarely feel. I think her happiness over getting that little piece of laminated cardboard was so pure it was infectious to those around her. She still pulls that card out almost every time she works to show it to some new volunteer (if you've worked with volunteers you're probably familiar with the revolving door of people...).
I once asked her if she kept the old card. I have since learned that was a dumb question. She gave me the coldest stare...

So congratulations Lissa Guillet and The black raven's friend! I sincerely hope it brings you at least as much joy as it brought my colleague.

Liberty's Edge

Shadow Knight 12 wrote:
I feel I'm missing something. Has Paizo introduced another LGBT+ character? What's this thread you guys are mentioning?

Not to my knowledge.

The thread is here, and it's in theory just a general discussion of LGBT characters and issues in RPGs and how people include/treat them.

It's obviously drifted into real-world stuff a few times and is probably potentially triggering for some people in a variety of ways. I don't feel it's as bad as some people here seem to, but then I've been participating in it.


4 people marked this as a favorite.
Deadmanwalking wrote:
Shadow Knight 12 wrote:
I feel I'm missing something. Has Paizo introduced another LGBT+ character? What's this thread you guys are mentioning?

Not to my knowledge.

The thread is here, and it's in theory just a general discussion of LGBT characters and issues in RPGs and how people include/treat them.

It's obviously drifted into real-world stuff a few times and is probably potentially triggering for some people in a variety of ways. I don't feel it's as bad as some people here seem to, but then I've been participating in it.

I do find it interesting to contrast the attitude in that thread that nothing bad's being said and it's just open discussion and Paizo is censoring us and the posts over here saying it's triggering and exhausting and "multi-day anxiety" attacks and people staying out of it to avoid the conflict.

The very "shutting down of dialogue" that's cited as a reason not to moderate is happening, but for the opposite reasons and in the opposite direction.

I don't see most of that thread as too bad, but then I'm a straight, cis guy. In a way, it's all academic to me, not personal. Which is why I try to listen, even when I don't really understand.


thejeff wrote:

I do find it interesting to contrast the attitude in that thread that nothing bad's being said and it's just open discussion and Paizo is censoring us and the posts over here saying it's triggering and exhausting and "multi-day anxiety" attacks and people staying out of it to avoid the conflict.

The very "shutting down of dialogue" that's cited as a reason not to moderate is happening, but for the opposite reasons and in the opposite direction.

I don't see most of that thread as too bad, but then I'm a straight, cis guy. In a way, it's all academic to me, not personal. Which is why I try to listen, even when I don't really understand.

Your first sentence confuses me a bit. Would you mind parsing it a bit?

Like I said I deliberately avoided that thread so I cannot hope to address anything beyond 'the avoidance tactic' that I employ and you refer to. That said, the different reactions are fascinating, aren't they? It makes me wonder about the reasons. I know mine (or at least I think so!), but beyond that I can mostly just speculate about others. That seems like a disservice somehow.

For the record, I don't think one's sexual identity plays as big a role as you might think. Sure, I suppose that by and large we are a little more sensitive when it comes to topics like this. I just don't think it matters to such an extent that it warrants mentioning. I don't even think it matters that much if it is personal at all. I think most of us are much more concerned with how the discussion flows rather than what its about (though the connection between the two is obvious) and how it affects us.
I respond the exact same way to martial-caster disparity threads as I do to threads like this, or threads on politics or religion. It has nothing to do with my sexuality, my character, my political views or spiritual beliefs. Its my personality. Mostly. I just don't have the stomach for it. I just think how one responds is much more pertinent than why...

Edit: P.S. I've finally taken note of 'favorites'. Does it serve a purpose or is it like Likes on Facebook?

Silver Crusade System Administrator

There is a lot of it, that got removed.

Project Manager

4 people marked this as a favorite.
Arcane Addict wrote:
thejeff wrote:

I do find it interesting to contrast the attitude in that thread that nothing bad's being said and it's just open discussion and Paizo is censoring us and the posts over here saying it's triggering and exhausting and "multi-day anxiety" attacks and people staying out of it to avoid the conflict.

The very "shutting down of dialogue" that's cited as a reason not to moderate is happening, but for the opposite reasons and in the opposite direction.

Your first sentence confuses me a bit. Would you mind parsing it a bit?

I think thejeff is referring to claims made within the thread (and in many others) that the sort of discussion the mod team often cuts off or redirects elsewhere on the boards doesn't hurt anyone and should be allowed everywhere because it's just discussion and no one's being silenced, and contrasting those posts with posts in this thread where people are talking about being exhausted and anxious about it, and deciding not to post there anymore because they don't feel safe or are too drained.

I got fed up and stopped participating a while back, and I'm not even trans--I suspect it's enormously alienating, frustrating, and/or painful for a lot of people who are.

A lot of what took that thread south, I think, was posts that can sort of be boiled down to people responding to others saying something hurts them with, "but it doesn't hurt me, so I don't see why we shouldn't keep doing it."


4 people marked this as a favorite.
Jessica Price wrote:
Arcane Addict wrote:
thejeff wrote:

I do find it interesting to contrast the attitude in that thread that nothing bad's being said and it's just open discussion and Paizo is censoring us and the posts over here saying it's triggering and exhausting and "multi-day anxiety" attacks and people staying out of it to avoid the conflict.

The very "shutting down of dialogue" that's cited as a reason not to moderate is happening, but for the opposite reasons and in the opposite direction.

Your first sentence confuses me a bit. Would you mind parsing it a bit?

I think thejeff is referring to claims made within the thread (and in many others) that the sort of discussion the mod team often cuts off or redirects elsewhere on the boards doesn't hurt anyone and should be allowed everywhere because it's just discussion and no one's being silenced, and contrasting those posts with posts in this thread where people are talking about being exhausted and anxious about it, and deciding not to post there anymore because they don't feel safe or are too drained.

I got fed up and stopped participating a while back, and I'm not even trans--I suspect it's enormously alienating, frustrating, and/or painful for a lot of people who are.

A lot of what took that thread south, I think, was posts that can sort of be boiled down to people responding to others saying something hurts them with, "but it doesn't hurt me, so I don't see why we shouldn't keep doing it."

And the particular backlash of "Now you're hurting me by silencing me."

Not admitting they're driving away voices that need to be heard. I've learned a lot from your posts and from Crystal's and both of you have backed off from such discussions. Which is perfectly understandable, but makes me sad.


Jessica Price wrote:
Arcane Addict wrote:
thejeff wrote:

I do find it interesting to contrast the attitude in that thread that nothing bad's being said and it's just open discussion and Paizo is censoring us and the posts over here saying it's triggering and exhausting and "multi-day anxiety" attacks and people staying out of it to avoid the conflict.

The very "shutting down of dialogue" that's cited as a reason not to moderate is happening, but for the opposite reasons and in the opposite direction.

Your first sentence confuses me a bit. Would you mind parsing it a bit?

I think thejeff is referring to claims made within the thread (and in many others) that the sort of discussion the mod team often cuts off or redirects elsewhere on the boards doesn't hurt anyone and should be allowed everywhere because it's just discussion and no one's being silenced, and contrasting those posts with posts in this thread where people are talking about being exhausted and anxious about it, and deciding not to post there anymore because they don't feel safe or are too drained.

I got fed up and stopped participating a while back, and I'm not even trans--I suspect it's enormously alienating, frustrating, and/or painful for a lot of people who are.

A lot of what took that thread south, I think, was posts that can sort of be boiled down to people responding to others saying something hurts them with, "but it doesn't hurt me, so I don't see why we shouldn't keep doing it."

Assuming you're correct about what thejeff is saying that clears it up a lot. Thank you!

You also mention people feeling hurt by comments in that thread, which makes me second-guess what I said in my previous post. For what its worth I didn't mean to bagatellize anyone or their perspectives by what I said regarding the importance of one's sexuality in regards to such discussions. If I did I'm sincerely sorry.

Project Manager

Arcane Addict wrote:

Assuming you're correct about what thejeff is saying that clears it up a lot. Thank you!

You also mention people feeling hurt by comments in that thread, which makes me second-guess what I said in my previous post. For what its worth I didn't mean to bagatellize anyone or their perspectives by what I said regarding the importance of one's sexuality in regards to such discussions. If I did I'm sincerely sorry.

Oh gosh, no, I wasn't referring to you. :-)

8,601 to 8,650 of 18,884 << first < prev | 168 | 169 | 170 | 171 | 172 | 173 | 174 | 175 | 176 | 177 | 178 | next > last >>
Community / Forums / Gamer Life / General Discussion / The LGBT Gamer Community Thread. All Messageboards

Want to post a reply? Sign in.