Tom Rex Found some Dinosaur Art for you Delicious People!

Friday, October 29, 2010

Greetings, meat-flavored fans! What's the scoop? Tom noticed that there is a shocking... no, criminal lack of dinosaur-themed art on this blog. Tom realized this when the Boss changed his messageboard avatar that there was unknown dinosaur artwork lurking on Paizo's servers. Tom likes dinosaur pictures, because they inspire Tom. And because Tom is so much more handsome in real life, dinosaur art makes Tom feel better about his tiny forelimbs and the recent scandals about Tom being a cannibal. (What can Tom say! Tom's friends and family are delicious.)

Anyway, back on subject, Tom! Tom went sniffing through the still-to-be-published art (did you know that Tom's olfactory senses are among the most highly developed in the world? Tom can smell you wherever you hide, so it's better to not bother and just let Tom eat you alive is what Tom is saying). And not only did he find the image that Boss Jacobs stole for his new avatar, but three others! Two from some big book about monsters, and another from some book about some sort of lost city with a big lake in the middle where there are dinosaurs. One of them is not REALLY a dinosaur, but Tom still has fond memories of the Todd Tylosaurus and his megalodon gumbo, so Tom's okay including him in the art preview. That's the scoop on that!

P.S. Sarah is on another continent. Tom, as a result, doesn't known who the artists are for these wonderful pictures. So don't ask Tom who made this art! Tom assumes the artists are yummy, though, and you don't need to know someone's name to know that. That's also the scoop on that.

Tom Rex
King of Reporters

Bestiary Breakdown

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Greetings, fun-sized friend morsels! What's the scoop? Tom Rex here, bringing you the latest that's outrageous, from the present to the Cretaceous! (Tom wrote that himself. Tom took some poetry classes in college.) And today that means another blog picking up the slack from James Jacobs.

According to Boss Sutter, Jacobs was supposed to write a blog post titled "Bestiary Breakdown." Which is accurate because, thanks to the Bestiary 2, James Jacobs is indeed breaking down! Ha! If you don't believe Tom, just observe the attached exclusive photographs. (Tom apologizes for the blurriness. The cameraman was both rude and delicious, and Tom's hands are built for holding massive prey in place while it's thrashing, not operating tiny iPhone camera.)

As you can see, James Jacobs was not having a good day—at least not until he reached the dinosaur section. Then things got better. Tom does what Tom can to keep the little people happy. (Tom has read the philosophy behind Kobe beef.)

Until next time, that's the scoop on that!

Tom Rex
King of Reporters

Welcome to the Shiv!

Monday, August 23, 2010

Greetings, delicious humanoids! What's the scoop? My name is Tom. Tom Rex. Tom normally doesn't talk to Tom's lunch, but Boss Sutter said Tom has to in this case, and since Boss Sutter is all skin and bones and beans and peanut butter, and thus not edible to Tom's discerning palate, Tom has no recourse but to do what Boss Sutter says. So here Tom is, talking to things that should be screaming as Tom chews them. But Tom is okay with that, because Tom needs his paycheck.

Boss Sutter said Tom should put James Jacobs's original map turnover on this blog, so that you squawking morsels might be able to use it as a handout in your Serpent's Skull games, but Tom can't find the map. Tom thinks it's at the back of one of the shelves, and Tom's arms can't reach that far, and anyone who makes fun of Tom's arms WILL be eaten. That's the scoop on that.

So instead, Tom just kicked in the door to the map archive room, ate the guards, stepped on their stupid robot defenders, and picked up the big untagged map of Smuggler's Shiv in Tom's teeth. Then Tom put it behind the spoiler button on this post. If you're a player in a Smuggler's Shiv game, Tom will kick your ass. Right up into Tom's mouth, where Tom will eat you. So don't peek! The map behind the spoiler button is for GMs only, who want to present a blank map to their players once they find a map of Smuggler's Shiv during the course of the adventure. GOT IT?

Spoiler:

Cartography by Robert Lazzaretti

As for what Tom thinks of the triceratops/torosaurus debacle... doesn't matter to Tom. They're equally delicious whatever their names are. That's the scoop on that!

Tom Rex
King of Reporters

Jacobs is a Slacker

Friday, August 20, 2010

Today's blog was supposed to be from James Jacobs, something to do with a map for Smuggler's Shiv. Unfortunately, Mr. Jacobs has allowed himself to be trapped in meetings all day, and was unable to get us the required information. Since we all understand that flagrantly placing the good of the company over the needs of the messageboards is flatly unacceptable, Mr. Jacobs has been placed on temporary suspension to think about what he's done. As such, I'd like to introduce his replacement.

I hope you'll all join me in welcoming Tom Rex to the staff. Tom's been angling for Mr. Jacobs' job for years, and though his editing skills are understandably a bit out of date, he's shown a remarkable level of enthusiasm and can-do spirit. A former newspaperman, Tom is already adjusting to his new role, and his trademark catchphrase—"What's the scoop, chief?"—will surely never get old. Welcome, Tom!

James Sutter
Fiction Editor