A time-themed item using haste and slow mechanics is old hat, not superstar.
Reject.
Really weird choice for a Superstar item submission. We've cautioned against time-based items for awhile now. This one sidesteps most of those concerns by just basing everything around a) an initiative bonus, b) haste, and c) slow. The first is boring and not all that innovative, despite shaking the bottle to increase your initiative for a short while. The next two are just SIAC effects. I'm also a little perplexed at the fact that it only gives you a +1 initiative bonus. Seems like that should be more for a 9,000 gp consumable item.
The parts that I like about this item are contained in that last paragraph. The flavor and mechanics of refilling the bottle and having to forego a night of restful sleep to recharge it is kind of interesting. Same goes for the fact that it can only be refilled so many times before the duration of haste and slow drops to zero.
I don't know. I'm not bowled over by it. For me, I'm going to have to say...
Vote to Reject.
This item is effectively a staff (a magic item that produces two or more spell effects). That should disqualify it. However I can see times when this would be used by a ranger or a rogue, and it creates interesting tactical choices with meaningful consequences. It's also priced right for a low-magic or a low-level campaign and the game always needs more of that kind of content.
I recommend that you vote for this designer.
Followed Rules: Yes
Not a SIAC: Yes
Not a MIAC: Yes
Not a FIAC: Yes
Not a Staff: No
Not Autoreject: No
Clever: Ok
Marketable: Yes
Pathfinder Brand: N/A
Mechanics: It's a staff (slow, haste, +1 initiative)
Oh, I wish this wasn't something that relied on "shaking". Doesn't it get shaken through normal travel and adventuring (falling, climbing, swimming, etc.?) It's a cheap enough item that parties might have one at fairly low levels before they get extradimensional storage.
I wanted to respond to some of the other comments by the judges.
I think this is pretty Superstar because of the price and because of how you use it. It's a great item for a rogue or a ranger on a scouting mission, and it gives the player lots of interesting tactical choices. And it's not a one-shot item so a player won't feel obligated to keep it "for that one special time" and then never actually use it.
I'd like to encourage submitters to think about lower level items and I think this entry is a great example of how to do that without making something that's either hugely under-costed, or useless.
Vote: Keep.
Right off the bat, a time themed item comes in with me in a grouchy mood. Like Sean, I am very "been there, seen that, always lame" when I open these and read them. We have so many every year it gets tiresome and hard to keep an open mind.
I actually really like this item. Its not really a time item, its a haste and initiative item. The mistake here is to use "time" in the name. Plus they needed to cut this line: "Reusing the bottle for consumables and drinking from it may cause the user to experience vivid dreams about his or her past."
But this item is COOL. The shake for initiative bonus, possible explosion, spray some haste, shatter for some slow. Then the sleep by it to recharge it and it sucks out some of your energy, that is just plain fun.
This is a good item.
Not only do I vote to KEEP it but I might golden ticket it. I like it a lot. The drawback is whether or not the author is ready, as there is enough here to make me think he or she is not. But I want to think about it.
KEEP
Welcome to the Top 32!
The haste, slow, and initiative powers initally seem rather bland. However, the recharge method truly impressed me. It's so much more flavourful than a plain old x times per day limitation. I'll have to agree with Clark. This item is COOL.
However, there are still a few problems. It's a little admin intensive and doesn't offer much for the amount of admin required. I'm not really sold on the decreasing power of the haste/slow effects, since it requires tracking over (possibly) several sessions.
Your innovative recharge method makes me think that you may have what it takes, but you'll need to work hard to prove it to others. I'd like to see what you can do in future rounds. Congratulations and good luck.
At some level, this is haste in a can, but I think this is quirky and cool enough for that not to matter. The name, activation and especially recharge are all clever and evocative. I’m also sold on Dancey’s arguments that this is an interesting tool for non-casters to expand their options, especially since it’s inexpensive/low-level. Despite its many abilities, this feels like a coherent whole thanks to a strong theme. I would be happy finding this as a player or including it in my campaign as a GM.
What sort of action is it to shake or shatter the bottle?
What I like:
This item shows some chutzpah, since the word 'time' often immediately sets the judges hackles on end. There's a lot of pitfalls with time based items; you avoid most of them. You don't try and create a rule system for time travel in 300 words or less, and while you do go for the haste/slow duality trope, you give it some extra juice.
What I love:
So, one could look at this as haste and slow in a can (or a bottle), but I think you jazz it up a lot. I've spoken elsewhere about how I don't like permanent items that you can destroy for a small nuke effect, but I don't mind the slow effect here so much; mostly because this feels like a consumable more than a permanent item. I do wish you'd given some text on how far the bottle can be thrown if you do want to smash it, though. The haste effect is less complicated, though I assume the guy who uncorks it doesn't get the benefit? In any case, I'm not 100% sure I would ever use either effect as a player, but then again I might.
And if I do, I actually really love the recharging mechanic- like this thing is eating your personal sleep time. Very neat. I might prefer it if it only affected the item's owner, though, since it's already pretty easy to avoid the group being fatigued by just sleeping 15 feet away. Maybe instead of a stick, you should have used the carrot here; eating multiple characters bedtimes could give some benefit. (More refills before it burning out, perhaps?)
What needs a little sumptin' sumptin'...
This falls in a weird middle ground between permanent items and consumables, and I'm not sure how I'd react to that if I owned one. I might just use it for an hour and a half's worth per day of initiative bonus, honestly. Or at least, that's what I would do with it after refilling it twice.
Also, while it's minor, you should have just left off the last sentence altogether, IMO. I realize it's just intended as flavor text and the vivid dreams of the past aren't intended to be read as being an actual 'power' of the item, but it gave a weird feel as the very last thing to read, like there should have been more text telling the GM the game effects of those dreams. Honestly, as flavor text, it was just a little bit indulgent.
All in all...
You take what could be a dangerously cliche item and manage to avoid most of the pitfalls inherent in it. I don't think it's mechanically perfect, I'm not sure how much use I'd have for it, but it's interesting. I've probably written more on this item than most of the other 35 I've seen. (Actually, I have definitely done so since I accidentally erased my first critique and had to restart from scratch, and had no problem doing so because, I like this one.) You apply a lot of creative thinking to something that could have been dull and predictable, which shows some realyl good design potential on your part. Congratulations and welcome to RPG Superstar!
Star Voter Season 7
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Anthony, I hope that you do enter next year when you have more time and understand the rules better.
I could easily see the rogue or ranger that I have in Pathfinder Society wanting to use bottled time and then deciding how to use it in an adventure. Do I just chose to get the initiative bonus, haste my party, or if I am fleeing a pursuit, throw it to delay my foes? (I imagine that the person uncorking the bottle would be covered by the haste effect.)
As the bottle weighs as much as a bottle of holy water, despite being empty, a range increment of 10 feet would be reasonable and treat being hit by it as a ranged touch attack, just like alchemist fire.
Well, NOW, the judges have a difficult decision -- who fills Anthony's position.
Well, NOW, the judges have a difficult decision -- who fills Anthony's position.
That would be Andrew Newton and his Sticky Pugfoot.
Noooooo! I actually liked this item!
Best of luck with the wedding, and come back next year!
Director of Brand Strategy
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Having said this... I'm going to agree with Clark's gut instinct. As an author, I'm not ready. One of the alternates really deserves this spot, because I'm not sure I understand Golarion or Pathfinder with the depth necessary to be a real Superstar.
I also didn't plan my time around actually advancing in RPG Superstar--I'm knee deep in wedding planning, neck deep in job interviews, and I'm going to be on vacation without a computer from Feb. 2-9.
I wanted to commend you on your professionalism, even if it meant you dropped out of the contest. One of the most admirable qualities in a freelancer, especially one we like and who we want to give work to, is the ability to turn work down when real life or other projects would make one unable to do the job. The fact that you recused yourself to make way for someone who now has a shot at winning in your stead says very promising things about your character. So next year, when you enter again, not only will you have an extra year to learn the rules and hone your craft, but you'll also know that you already show signs of being the kind of person we want to work with here at Paizo.
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I wanted to commend you on your professionalism, even if it meant you dropped out of the contest. One of the most admirable qualities in a freelancer, especially one we like and who we want to give work to, is the ability to turn work down when real life or other projects would make one unable to do the job. The fact that you recused yourself to make way for someone who now has a shot at winning in your stead says very promising things about your character. So next year, when you enter again, not only will you have an extra year to learn the rules and hone your craft, but you'll also know that you already show signs of being the kind of person we want to work with here at Paizo.Having said this... I'm going to agree with Clark's gut instinct. As an author, I'm not ready. One of the alternates really deserves this spot, because I'm not sure I understand Golarion or Pathfinder with the depth necessary to be a real Superstar.
I also didn't plan my time around actually advancing in RPG Superstar--I'm knee deep in wedding planning, neck deep in job interviews, and I'm going to be on vacation without a computer from Feb. 2-9.
Word. One of the hardest things about being a freelancer is saying "no" particularly when you know you're not going to be able to give it your all. If it's worth doing, it's worth doing *well*.
I hope to see you next year in the Top 32, with your spouse rooting you on as you compete!
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What Mark said.
Congratulations on making the cut then, for a real Pathfinder newcomer. I have a lot of mixed feelings on this item, but all in all, you were impressive enough.
Hope to see you around in coming years!
Cool story, man.
Good luck next time/year/etc.
I'm sorry to see you go, if only because I did quite like the bottle. If it were just an issue of your doubts that you're up to the competition, I'd be yelling at you now because, hey, you made it this far, why not stick it out? But the issue of time is pretty much an unavoidable one, so, kudos to you for having the wisdom (and courage) to bow out now. Best of luck next time around- if you can come up with something that's got this much potential without being a Pathfinder rules expert, I can only imagine what you've got brewing for the future.
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By the way, there were 20 consensus locks in this contest--all 4 judges agreed. Then we each had 7 golden tickets to fill out the rest of the 12 spots and the alternates from the items within our keep folder.
This item was my FIRST golden ticket. Granted, this one wasnt high on Sean and Neil's list, but I loved it. If you can do that your first time out...that's impressive. It is also impressive the professional manner in which you have comported yourself by bowing out. That is yet another sign that you are the kind of person we want competing in this contest. That is a quality a great freelancer has to have--be able to say no and say no early, not wait until the deadline to bow out and then it is too late to get anyone to do the job. Nice work both on your submission and how you handled yourself after being selected. I'm glad you didn't let your busy schedule stop you from trying.
You MUST try again next year. For me :)
Good luck on the wedding, and good job on making the cut!
The irony of course is that right now what you need is some Bottled Time.
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Sorry to see you bow out, Anthony. That's a grown up decision you made and shows a lot of maturity. Wedding planning is not something to mess around with - you don't get another shot at that next year.
Classy behavior reaps rewards. Cheers, and all the best for the wedding!
Bottled Time
Aura medium transmutation; CL 7th
Slot hands; Price 9,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
Swirling inside a corked wine bottle are what appears to be a few dozen grains of sand suspended in air.
Shaking the bottle adds a +1 bonus to the carrier's Initiative for 30 minutes. The bottle can be shaken three times per day; shaking it a fourth time will cause it to explode.
If the bottle is shattered, the time within implodes upon itself and sucks it from the area around it, affecting everything within a 15-foot radius of the impact with the equivalent of a slow spell for three rounds.
Uncorking the bottle, which takes a full round, sprays time from the bottle with significant force, and anything within a 15-foot cone of the bottle's spout immediately experiences effects equivalent to a haste spell that lasts for three rounds.
Once the bottle is opened, its effects are instantly spent; shattered bottles are destroyed. The effects continue even if those affected leave the cone or radius.
An intact open bottle can be refilled twice by corking it after sleeping near it for at least 8 hours. Such sleep does not provide healing rest; anyone who sleeps within 15 feet of the opened bottle wakes up fatigued (-2 penalty to Strength and Dexterity, can't run or charge). Each refill reduces the length of haste or slow effects by one round.
Reusing the bottle for consumables and drinking from it may cause the user to experience vivid dreams about his or her past.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, haste, slow; Cost 4,500 gp
This post constitutes the views of a (very advanced) CE aligned succubus. Being such, Ask A RPGSupersuccubus is at complete liberty to change her mind on anything without giving any notice whatsoever. For those of you who missed last year (or as a reminder for those whose memories have failed) Ask A RPGSupersuccubus subscribes absolutely to balance, fairness, and logic in these reviews – in the sense that balance is what a couple of mortals on opposite ends of a plank pivoted on a rocky spire above a drop of several hundred feet into a pool of molten basalt frantically try to do, fairness is a term used to assess hair coloration and logic is something which proves anything a demon of adequate status and charm requires it to demonstrate.
Fair is foul and foul is fair supposedly . Basically, though, does this item have any useful application in a spa?
I'm afraid this item is simply going to look out of place in such a setting, so no.
Assuming for a moment that it’s more convenient to pay taxes than to circumvent the system, does this item look likely to be a tax-deductible business expense for a succubus art-dealer?
Given what it currently does, no. Now if it had been something to do with wine then it might have been possible to work with entertainment expenses, but as it currently is, it's a little bit too much bother to try and explain away.
Is the item useful in a strawberries-and-cream-tea context?
Not unless one expects to be 'jumped' in a less than usual manner for such a context.
Other Comments?
No explanation is given on what happens to the sand contained in a bottle if a bottle is uncorked, and whether it can be removed/replaced without affecting the function of the item.
Now the item does have some possibilities for practical-joking adventurers or over-zealous social bores, by carefully hiding an opened one in an inn room whilst they're at dinner, to mess with their rest the coming night...
Gollum Rating:
Thanks again everyone, and I'm looking forward to seeing Andrew run with this spot! Congrats to the 32! :D
Believe me, it's much appreciated! Congratulations for your big day too, when it finally comes.
Bottled Time is a great descriptive name, and it conjures up some fun ideas about what might actually be in the bottle, or how it is made. Very cool.
I loved reading your blot post about your item creation process and what went into it. I look forward to seeing you back here next year!
Very much agreed with Eric. I'm really impressed that you made that decision, since I don't know that I could have even in your situation.
I think the fact that you got in with a time item -- when judges have so often called out such items -- is really impressive.
And congrats on the wedding -- that's a bigger win than even getting through this competition. : )
This item is kind of a SAK, but I like it a lot. I'm a big fan of Prince of Persia, and this scratches my itch to incorporate "sands of time" mechanics into the game. I think it might be a bit powerful for the price, but overall I love the flavor. Not sure I liked the last bit about using the empty bottle, but good job!
Sorry to see that you've dropped out of RPG Superstar. I would have liked to see more design work from you!
Love all the different time applications, and the deteriorating recharge as opposed to simply being single use. Only question is does exploding the bottle count as shattering it? I’d be inclined to guess yes. A lot of my more inventory conscious characters would enjoy managing one of these.