You are goblins of the Licktoad tribe, who live deep in Brinestump Marsh, south of the hated man-town called Sandpoint. Once, other goblins tried to burn Sandpoint down, and they would have been legends if they had succeeded. But they didn’t bring enough fire, and got themselves killed as a result.
Yesterday, your tribe discovered that one of your own had been using forbidden arts and was engaged in one of the greatest of taboos—writing things down. In fact, rumor holds that what he was writing was a history of your tribe! There’s no swifter way to bring about bad luck than stealing words out of your mind by writing them down, and so your tribe had no choice. You branded the goblin’s face with letters to punish him, which is why everyone calls him Scribbleface now, and then you ran him out of town, took all of his stuff, and burned down his hut.
That’s where things got interesting, because before you all burned down his hut, Chief Gutwad found a weird box within the building. Inside was a map and a lot of fireworks—fireworks that immediately came to use in burning the hut down. Then, this morning, Gutwad announced that tonight there would be a feast in order to drive out any lingering bad luck from Scribbleface’s poor decisions. But perhaps even more exciting, all of you have been secretly invited to meet at Chief Gutwad’s Moot House. Why would the chief want to speak to you? It can only mean that he’s got an important mission for you all... one that the other goblins of the tribe couldn’t pull off. This could be your chance to go down in Licktoad history!
The quietness of the room becomes slightly corrupted when a couple of yellowish colored droplets fall from the shadows of the room to the floor. The milky-yellow drops appear seemingly from nowhere in the fare left corner of the room, where a faint shadow now lurks. Well hidden in the shadow, but clearly defined with the detailed vision of the goblin, sits a sickly looking, pimple faced humanoid holding a small wire cage, which contains a hand sized spider.
Transfixed on the other occupants in the room, the sharp toothed humanoid seems to be content with his caged prize. After taking a moment to observing the small guy, you can see an extremely sharp horse-chopper strapped to his side, a few small darts tucked into his belt, and a small pack with two additional wire cages strapped to it sitting on the ground next to him.
After a moment, the hygienically challenged goblin stirs, then inserts his right index finger deep into his nostril and begins scavenging around.
Reta is the strongest thoughest and most of all baddest of the licktoads and it is about time that even dimwit boss comes to realize this. Sadly it seems dimwit boss is truly dimwit if the dimwit Chuffy is supposed to be good enough or smarts enough for this special mission.
Reta shoots Chuffy a cold stare just as he bigns to dig deep and slaps the smaller goblin on the back to aid in his excavation.
Tell me if you finds brain up there! Reta laughs.
Slowly Chufffy removes his long green finger from his small pimple covered noise. Narrowing his bright orange eyes, Chufffy begins staring at the aggressive young Reta. Slowly the pimple covered goblin begins to lick his lips with his thin yellow tongue. As Reta’s words begin to trail off, Chufffy manages to put together a few words of his own.
His voice was soft, squeaky, and garbled, while his face said all that needed to be said. With a look of shear passion, Chufffy finally managed to speak up. “Reta, You and I should mate. Our children would rule the world!”
In the excitement of the moment a few more pimples on the young rogues face burst open, spilling their contents down the length of his forhead.
Ew yuk... Reta is prettiest of the licktoad. She will mary prince or boss man! Not ugly Chuffy.
You have all assembled in front of the Moot House, home to His Mighty Girthness Chief Rendwattle Gutwad, chieftain of the Licktoad Tribe. You await the invitation to enter, which comes shortly from Slorb, Gutwad's advisor.
Upon entering the Moot House, Slorb, in a high-pitched whine of a voice, say "You sit on floor. Chief has special job for you."
As you take a seat in the dirt (a great honor in the Licktoad Tribe), Chief Gutwad begins to speak in a booming voice befitting his rotund stature (another great honor as he never speaks directly to any goblin but Slorb). "You all be heroes. Each of you. You are best Licktoads but for me. And maybe but for Slorb. That you aren’t fleeing in terror from mighty sound of my voice is all the proof you should need. Yet soon, all Licktoad goblins will know your might, for I have picked you for a dangerous mission.
“You know about fireworks and map we found in Scribbleface’s hut. Fireworks were fun. But map is more fun. It shows a route to a place near the coast where Scribbleface found fireworks. And it says there are more fireworks there! “I want them for Licktoads. You all go get them tomorrow. Tonight we have big bonfire to burn bad luck away from you, and we play many games. Much fun. Tomorrow you fetch me fireworks. If you meet men, you make them dead. If you meet dogs, you make them dead. If you meet horses, you make them dead. If you meet Lotslegs Eat Goblin Babies Many, you maybe should run. And if you not find fireworks, you not come back or we feed you to Squealy Nord!"
Poog sits still as the Chief talks about fireworks and maps and bad old Scribbleface. As the talk gets long and boring, he finds himself nodding off slightly, causing his toad to fall from his green scalp. Poog stifles a laugh: toad's not as good at sitting as Poog.
The mention of horses cause Poog to wince, but he stiffens up. Can't let other goblins think less of Poog. As the chief finishes talking, Poog stands up quickly, almost stepping on his pet. "Poog'll get fireworks! Cause great big burn for Zarongel! In fact, can make big prayer for Zarongel tonight, make even better luck."
He frowns as he considers something. "We sure fireworks are safe? Scribbleface might have got them with writing, put bad mojo on them. We no want to bring back firewroks only to curse whole tribe."
From the shadows, Chufffy voices his approval of the great bone fire with a gleeful cheer.
(I must find many things to burn! Many!)
At this point the huts door flies open and other goblin comes rushing in. "I late, I late." he exclaims "I sorry. What I miss?" he asks looking around expectantly.
Reta while not the smartest of Licktoad, but the most beautiful and forceful looks up to the chief and inquires.
Gutwag chief sir! Why feed your best Goblins to squeely nord?
After the excitement of the bone fire subsides, Chufffy sits back and contemplates his knowledge of the local area.
Poog rolls his eyes at Mogmurch. "Chief want best men," (he sees Retta's expression and hastily continues) "and women to go get fireworks. So that mean you probably can stay then." The goblin sticks his tongue out at the alchemist.
It is a wonder that Chuffy has survived to his age with a mind as sharp as a rusty spoon. Perhaps one of the other greenskins with more knowledge of the local area can help him out.
Mogmurch sticks his tongue out a Poog, "Maybe i will stay then I be the strongest in town. Cause there no way you live wit out me." He says adding an obscene gesture to emphasis.
Chufffy joins in the fun and sticks his tongue out at know one particular.
Poog breaks out into a grin at Mogmurch. "We see. Bet your swish-stuff won't bring more fire than gift from great god Zarongel."
Normally more comfortable in the shadows of the evening, Chufffy arrives at the ceremonial bone fire in rare form. Bright eyed and excited, he positions himself in what he deems is the most advantageous spot to view the blaze. With a sigh he sits down a number of unusual looking objects that he obviously intends to toss into the fire and watch burn. Among the objects are a couple carved boats, some sort of child’s toy that has outlived its usefulness, a human looking baby doll, four branches from a local tree, and a door matt that looks like the one in front of the moot house.
With a wide smile, the rough looking goblin waits impatiently in his specially selected spot. (I wonder if they will ask me to lite the fire.)
Mogmurch dances around the fire signing songs and overall being a goblin. Occasionally he gets close to the fire and it flares brighter for a moment and he cackles with glee.
Later that night, Poog arrives at the great Licktoad bonfire finding the air filled with songs. Enthused, he tries to start his own verse.
Licktoads great and Licktoads best.
We do good for you in quest.
Soon have fireworks bright and orange,
Shoot at longshnaks and make them...corpseange
Now let give thanks to Zarongel:
Help teach us to burn so well!
As your small party arrives at the bonfire, the party is almost ready to get started. Chief Gutwad is carried out on his teeter chair by four struggling goblins. After declaring the festivities underway, he uses a Desnan candle to light the fire. The Chief has also been gracious enough to provide a barrel of fermented cider apples for the crowd to enjoy.
As the night progresses, word of your upcoming adventure spreads. The other goblins are adamant that you show off your heroics in front of the tribe. The Chief offers to award prizes for any dare that you can complete. You do not have to accept the dares, but you will be ruthlessly mocked if you do not.
The dares are:
After watching the fire simmer to light glow, Chufffy steps up and volunteers for the (Hide or get clubbed) event.
Before the event begins, Chufffy finds a club of his own, just in case some poor unfortunate goblin finds himself unlucky enough to stumble across the rogues hiding spot.
Poog feints towards Squealy Nord, then drops and grabs his leg, whining theatrically. "Ah, bad cramp from too much celebrating. Would have loved to ride Squealy Nord, but should not risk before tomorrow. Must bring fireworks back, have second big celebration! Too bad, would have been great at riding..."
Looking around, Poog sees many Licktoads are not buying his act. Indignant, he jumps back to his feet, forgetting he's supposed to be hurt.
"But Poog show all he worthy hero. Poog go through Rusty Earbiter, not get bit once!"
Reta want ride squeely Nord! Reta strong and good rider! the dimwit goblin bride admits with a toothy grin.
"Mogmurch will eat slug. They are no that bad." Mog says pausing in his dance.
Dance with Squealy Nord!
Reta steps up to the mud pit in the center of town, anxious to prove that she is a true champion of the Licktoads! Not only is she smarter than Chuffy, she's a better rider as well.
To conquer the beast, she need to survive for 18 seconds . As Reta mounts the beast, he grows furious and begins charging wildly around the pen. It is truly obvious why his name is Squealy.
The gathered Licktoads cheer wildly as Reta takes her ride!
Ride
Ride
Ride
Reta has trouble getting onto squeely Nord in the first place...
Squealy Nord is a bit too much, even for Reta's riding skill. He tosses her off into the air before she can even get a good hold.
As Reta flies through the air, she attempts to right herself to avoid injury.
Luckily Reta's quick reflexes save her from .
The Licktoads jeer and hiss at Reta's performance... until they see the hint of murder in her eyes. They quickly turn their attention to Mogmurch, slug eating champion of the Brinestump Marsh. Can he down the whole bag in a minute?
Mogmurch's hesitancy to begin the bag of slugs causes many of the Licktoads to lose interest. Seeing an opportunity to steal the spotlight, Chuffy volunteers for another dare... he will be the target of a game of Hide or Get Clubbed.
Go run, go hide!
Our time we'll bide.
Better hide well in fact.
Otherwise be ready to get whacked!
Once Chuffy has had a chance to hide, 10 of his fellow Licktoads set out to find him. Licktoads aren't always the sharpest, and only even get close enough to have a change of spotting him.
Fortunately for Chuffy, Licktoads are also not very perceptive, and the lone goblin who wonders near walks right past.
Chief Gutwad is extremely impressed by Chuffy's stealthiness. "Chuffy sneak good. Chief will need to be sure to not let Chuffy in Moot House again. I have prize for beating dare"
Chief Gutwad awards Chuffy a mystical Ring That Lets You Climb Real Good from his personal armory.
Poog takes off his chain shirt and walks proudly towards the Rusty Earbiter. He theatrically stretches, then turns to face the crowd. "Poog show all how good Poog can be at squeezing. Poog blessed by Zarongel!" He mutters a quick prayer and starts to make his way through the mesh minefield.
Poog gets off to a good start, but quickly finds himself getting snagged more and more as he goes.
Rusty, pointy, thorny Earbiter
Crawl through like a real fighter
Do it fast for reward
Do it fast or we'll get bored
Poog takes to the Rusty Earbiter with great vigor, quickly squeezing through the first section... and that is when things go terribly wrong. Poog snags his left ear, then his right ear. Another snag on his left ear causes the goblin on-lookers to lose interest. They run off to see if Mogmurch has started in on the bag of slugs.
"Make sure to pick up pieces of ear. Chief Gutwad not like the Earbiter being put away dirty," says Slorb, despite the obvious remnants of many a goblin ear on the contraption.
Eat this bag of slugs real quick
Do it fast, time will tick!
Five you have, take your pick
Do it fast, and don't get sick!
To the tune of the cheering goblin faithful, Mogmurch digs into the bag of slugs. The first slug goes down without incident, although Mogmurch had to swallow the slime bladder to choke it down.
The second and third slugs proved a bit more difficult, wriggling free from his mouth before he was able to swallow.
On the forth slug, Mogmurch decided to swallow the critter whole, before it could react.
The fifth slug escaped a gruesome fate in Mogmurch's stomach.
Coming down the home stretch, Mogmurch was able to successfully down the sixth slug, but failed on numbers seven and eight. Closing in on the end of the bag, Mogmurch still needed two more slugs to win the dare.
Slug number nine went down with ease, and Mogmurch quickly turned his attention to the final slug. With a hoot and a gulp, Mogmurch put down the final slug... bringing his total to 5! Just enough to win the dare.
"You eat slugs like stomach is a bottomless pit. Only person could do it better is me, and maybe Slorb," says Cheif Gutwad. "Here is your prize!" Chief Gutwad hands Mogmurch the Gorge of Gluttons .
Mogmurch takes the weapon, but is looking a little more green than normal. Perhaps one of the first slugs he choked down has made him ill.
Mogmurch lets out a loud burp that smells of slime and toenail fungus.
"Get to sleep," commands Chief Gutwad. "You go find fireworks as soon as sun comes up in the morning. Don't come back til you have them all. You see Lotslegs, don't get eat."
Although many of the other events are entertaining, Chufffy becomes less enthralled once he receives the magical ring. Quietly he moves off into the shadows and secures the leather thong ring to his finger, then whispers to himself.
"Chufffy climb like spider now. Chufffy powerful boss man now. Maybe Reta like Chufffy now." As his words trail off, Chufffy begins staring at Reta.
(Maybe she will be my bride after all!)
No Reta like Mogmurch now! Mogmurch you wants to sleep in my tent today?
Reta says with a crooked smile as her eyes are on Mogmurch's new sword.
As the sun rises, the band of Goblins sets off into the forest in the direction of the shipwreck and the fireworks stash. You follow Scribbleface's Map. Luckily, it doesn't have any of his despicable words on it.
A few hours into the trip, you stumble upon a clearing. Unfortunately, the clearing is not clear! Lotslegs Eats Goblin Babies Many stares back at you from the clearing with many-faceted eyes. Saliva and venom drip from her fangs, each of which is bigger than a goblin dagger.
She chitters madly as she sees her next meal before her. "[Undecipherable Spider Noises]". Luckily, Lotslegs is as surprised as you are and doesn't have extra time to react.
BATTLE ORDER:
Poog <GO
Lotslegs
Reta
Mogmurch
Chuffy
Poog, still picking at his nicked ear, is a bit sullen during the march. Chuffy have nice ring. Momgmurch have big dogslicer and Reta. No one taking Poog seriously...
His thoughts are broken however as the foursome enter a clearing and see big Lotslegs before them. Ha! This Poog's chance!
Poogs barrels forwards and points a menacing finger at the bug. "You stay back creature! No match for Poog's power!"
for
(The only chance we have, is to try and kill it while its eating Mogmurch!)
I must save us! Or it will eat Chufffy. It can bite Poog though... That would be funny! Mogmurch thinks to himself with a chuckle.
Lotslegs, sensing an easy target, moves directly towards Poog. A bolt of fire flies by as it approaches, very wide of its intended mark. Lotslegs attempts to chomp on the tasty goblin....
Lotslegs' bite also carries a potent venom.
BATTLE ORDER:
Poog
Lotslegs
Reta <GO
Mogmurch
Chuffy
Reta valiantly assaults lotslegs with her Dogslicer.
I kill you now! the goblin maiden states boldly but her wordds are not followed by actions as she trips over her dress and falls flat on her face.
Attack Damage
Seeing Reta struggle, Mogmurch and Chuffy launch themselves into battle. Poog also recovers from his first miss to make another attack.
BATTLE ORDER:
Poog <GO
Lotslegs
Reta
Mogmurch <GO
Chuffy <GO