“Say Your Right Words!” (Inactive)

Game Master Terquem

“The thunder is the waterfall, can you hear the laughter?

Climb down to canyon side and explore the here and after

Take the girl and keep her safe, she bakes the treats so fine

Find the words to smite her foes, and let her village shine

Then take the, wait, um, no, it was supposed to start with I wish,

Let me start over” – The Great Chant of Heroes as spoken by Good Chief Darien, moments before the pie was served


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male

Day 1, Monday Afternoon, the Great Palace Hall of Good Chief Darien

The Great Palace Hall is a beautiful stone building that sits on a wide ledge two hundred feet below the rim of the canyon and four hundred feet above the canyon floor. It is a place for festival dances, feasts, and celebrations. The Palace itself is three sided, with the forth side open to the canyon and with magnificent views of the jungle below. There are galleries, balconies, and royal boxes all along the interior walls of the Great Palace, and they are nearly full with Goblins today as everyone has turned out to see the Expedition of the Heroes get underway (and a lunch of pickled cucumber salad was provided, and will be served as soon as the Heroes have left - and Pie!).


"What is that supposed to do?” Good Chief Darien asks as Good Chief Marion holds Fluuk’s head over the top of Tabaaac’s head, and shakes vigorously


"These two have got everything important filed in the wrong places, and naturally this has led to a duplication in files with different extensions. I’m rebooting this one and overwriting his memory so that’s they can work like a team.”


”No, no no,”Good Chief Vodde says as she picks up a large flat rock and struts over to the scene.
”You got to shut them down completely, and start them up in safe mode. Dats the only way to be sure the files aren’t corrupted.”


Male Goblin Archivist (Bard)/4 AC 18, T 16, FF 13, | HP 28/28 | F +2, R +8, W +5| CMD 17| P 8 | Int +6 | Perform 12/12

Fluuk's fault. Fluuk's fault Tabaaac yelps.


Male Goblin (Monstrous Humanoid) Sorcerer 4 (Wildblooded Fey/Sylvan Bloodline) - [ AC:15 T:15 FF:11 | HP:32/32 | F:+2 R:+5, W:+3 | CMD:14 | P:+7 I: 0/+2* smell ]

Wha? Hey, no! I tell you how it really works! You can wait for process to complete, give it a little time and it works naturally. Less work for everyone, paaaaaatience!"

Fluuk smiles his crooked jagged teeth sparkling beautifully in the light. Fluuk is a handsome goblin.


Male Goblin Witch 4 | AC 18 T 14 FF 14 | HP 30/30 | F +4 R +4 W +6 | CMD 15 | Init +10 | Perc +14, I +2

Gemdar munches on some of the pickled cucumber salad he made and set aside for himself.

I thought rebooting them was kicking them two or more times in the rump to get them moving quicker.


"well, obviously the brains of this expidition are ready to be off, or maybe they are just hungrier, when's that Salad going to be ready?"


"Has anyone seen the brawn assigned to this task. Did someone forget to tell them that there would be pie?"


Male Goblin Archivist (Bard)/4 AC 18, T 16, FF 13, | HP 28/28 | F +2, R +8, W +5| CMD 17| P 8 | Int +6 | Perform 12/12

Early goblin gets more pie Tabaaac nods trying to look wise. That's why we're first


Male Goblin Witch 4 | AC 18 T 14 FF 14 | HP 30/30 | F +4 R +4 W +6 | CMD 15 | Init +10 | Perc +14, I +2

Here Tabaaac, have some cucumber I've set aside. They're not serving anything until after we leave. I couldn't get to the pie though, too well guarded.


Male Goblin Druid (Saurian Shaman) 3 | AC 19 T 14 FF 16 | HP 33/33 | F +6 R +4 W +6 | CMD 20 | Init +9 | Perc +9

"Rawr! Where's da meat? Gobzilla and Gaia can't eat dis!" Gobzilla grumbles as he pokes at a cucumber.


Male Goblin Archivist (Bard)/4 AC 18, T 16, FF 13, | HP 28/28 | F +2, R +8, W +5| CMD 17| P 8 | Int +6 | Perform 12/12

I like things that can go in pies. But really everything can go in pies. So I like everything Tabaaac thanks the cucumber thankfully from Gemdar


Obliviously they will need the bestest fighter in teh land, so I summoned my daughter, Ehsmaraldah the Repulsive. She takes a while to get used to, but she can do da job.


Male Goblin Witch 4 | AC 18 T 14 FF 14 | HP 30/30 | F +4 R +4 W +6 | CMD 15 | Init +10 | Perc +14, I +2

Gemdar leans over and whispers to Tabaaac, I think she was summoned form the 9th circle of Butt Ugly. Her foes run away in fear after they get a good look at her!


Good Chief Darien Whispers to Good Chief Marion...

Perception Skill Check roll 14+:
I bet she is using this adventure as another scheme to marry of her hideous daughter


NPC:F Goblin* Cavalier/1 | AC 16, T 13, FF 14 |HP: 11/11 | F +3, R +2, W +0 | Init +2, P +2, I +0 |CMD 14

I've saddled Mergatroid, my Dragwombatasaur, and filled my saddlebags. Mother please don't make me wear the scarf. it's so hot. I know my face is hideous, but this is who I am. Maybe the heroes can overlook the fact that I look more like my father, the gnome king.


Male Goblin Witch 4 | AC 18 T 14 FF 14 | HP 30/30 | F +4 R +4 W +6 | CMD 15 | Init +10 | Perc +14, I +2

Perception: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (8) + 10 = 18

Gemdar gathers the guys closer and whispers Did you hear that?!?! The chief thinks this adventure might be to marry off Ehsmaralduh! I don't want that to be my reward for succeeding! Think it's too late to back out?


Male Goblin Archivist (Bard)/4 AC 18, T 16, FF 13, | HP 28/28 | F +2, R +8, W +5| CMD 17| P 8 | Int +6 | Perform 12/12

Maybe it's penalty for failure Tabaaac whispers back. First one to die has to marry her!


Male Goblin Druid (Saurian Shaman) 3 | AC 19 T 14 FF 16 | HP 33/33 | F +6 R +4 W +6 | CMD 20 | Init +9 | Perc +9

Gobzilla takes a bit of a cucumber, apparently decides that it doesn't taste too bad, and then looks over at Ehsmaralduh curiously. "Rawr! She doesn't look dat bad. Gobzilla seen worse."


Male Goblin Witch 4 | AC 18 T 14 FF 14 | HP 30/30 | F +4 R +4 W +6 | CMD 15 | Init +10 | Perc +14, I +2

Gemdar looks at Gobzilla as if he's nuts. In that case she's all yours! You can up front next to her! He then leans over to Tabaaac and in a stage whisper says I hope cucumber doesn't make him gassy for your sake as you're standing behind him


Male Goblin (Monstrous Humanoid) Sorcerer 4 (Wildblooded Fey/Sylvan Bloodline) - [ AC:15 T:15 FF:11 | HP:32/32 | F:+2 R:+5, W:+3 | CMD:14 | P:+7 I: 0/+2* smell ]

Fluuk sits quietly toward the rear munching cucumber salad.


| AC 17, T 13, FF 15, | HP 24 | F +5, R +5, W +2 | CMD 16 | P +6, I +2

Stealth: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (7) + 10 = 17

Skulking beneath the tables, trying very hard to get at the pie, is... a goblin who is covered in thick furs, with a hammer much longer than he is tall lashed to his hunched back (actually a backpack covered by the furs he is wearing). The backpack is bulging with numerous odds and ends. Somehow, he's still fairly quiet despite all the ridiculous number of things he's carrying.

His plan to sneak in and get the pie and eat, like, at least half of it is interrupted by the fact that when Esmeralduh's name is brought up, he straightens up in a frightened jerk and cracks his head on the bottom of the table.

"Owrr!"

Scowling, Wuppy the Mighty, or the Mighty Wup (he can't quite make up his mind on what he'd like other people to call him), staggers out from beneath the table, rubbing at his skull and looking fearfully at Esmeralduh. Ewww.

"Ugh, cucumbers! Wuppy doesn't want any! Wuppy wants a meat pie!" he tells the mass of goblins, grumpily, and is more grumpy when nobody really cares what he wants.

Well, he'll show them. He'll be a big hero and then he'll get meat pies whenever he wants.


Ul Skub saunters casually into the story, gnawing on a cucumber with his faithful bride, Matilda, slung over one shoulder. Walking with an awkward gait Ul Skub stands fairly tall for a Goblin, his hunched posture canceling out his wide lanky legs. He takes a seat near the gaggle of goblins, fanning his sweaty forehead with a large floppish hat.

"I too was told there would be pie..."


Male Goblin Druid (Saurian Shaman) 3 | AC 19 T 14 FF 16 | HP 33/33 | F +6 R +4 W +6 | CMD 20 | Init +9 | Perc +9

"Rawr! Gobzilla like meat pies. They're tasty! Don't think they're serving them, though."


male

Day 1, Monday Afternoon

I will be tracking time, soon, using a notation that uses the term “Turns” a turn is 10 minutes long. There are 144 turns in a day. Midnight to 12:10 am is Turn 1, okay?

When all of the heroes are finally present, the Good Chiefs call the room to order. A blessing is given by the Druidess Geaddor the Bite Maker, and each of the Good Chiefs speak for a moment on the talents and capabilities of the heroes.

Before a Final Chant of Beginning is made, the Human Girl, Penny the Wise, is allowed to speak.


Thank you, Good Chiefs, and brave heroes, our village is indebted to you. I only hope that when we reach the Pool of All the Right Words, that we discover something that will help us in our struggles with the monsters who have taken over the castle ruin. I hope I can help in the search, and more than anything else, I hope you like the pies.


male

Good Chief Darien shakes Penny’s hand, and then makes the final Chant for the Begging of the Adventure to officially start. He tries to start again, when he realizes he made a critical mistake, but Vodde shouts out

The Pie is Served!

And then there is a mad rush for the tables where the Piue is waiting.
To everyone’s delight there are a variety of pies, cream pies, fruit pies, and even small tangy (made with Goblax’s secret BBQ Sauce) meat pies.

Everyone has a few pieces of pie, and then the heroes are lead, in a loud procession, accompanied by the regular Goblin Pipe and Drum regiment (there are eight of them), down the winding paths below the villages to the floor of the great Chasm.

The floor of the great Chasm is narrow here, and lush with vegetation. Tall palm trees stand above fronds, ferns, and foliage of countless varieties. The sound of the creek that flows along the chasm can be heard as it tumbles over rocks and boulders. The creek flows from south to north, winding back and forth along the chasm floor.

To the south is the Tumble of the White, a great water fall some one hundred feet across that spills water from the land above, down over the wall of the chasm into a small lake. The creek flows out of this lake, and passes the wall where the Goblin villages are located.
The Good Chiefs consult one another for a few moments and then Good Chief Marion explains


“The Mysterious Dungeon can be found on the eastern wall to the south of Large Lake, below the Tumble of the White. Your journey there will take you all of today and part of tomorrow. Once you reach the Mysterious Dungeon, you will see a cave on a rise above the floor of the Chasm. You have the Key to the Guarded Doors, which can be found hidden in the cave. The Guarded Doors lead to the Here, and in the Here, you will find the Doors to the After. You have the Key to the Door to the After, which leads to the Tomb of the Great Queen Axellexa . You must find the Key to the Queens Tomb, in order to open it and search for the Pool of All the Right Words.”


Male Goblin Archivist (Bard)/4 AC 18, T 16, FF 13, | HP 28/28 | F +2, R +8, W +5| CMD 17| P 8 | Int +6 | Perform 12/12

Can we go back and start a new quest with another party and more pies instead?


NPC:F Goblin* Cavalier/1 | AC 16, T 13, FF 14 |HP: 11/11 | F +3, R +2, W +0 | Init +2, P +2, I +0 |CMD 14

"That would be a clever idea, if the one who made the pies was not accompanying us,"Ehsmaraldauh points at Penny as she checks the saddle bags on her mount.

mergatroid, turns her fat head toward Tabaaac, and gives him a pleading look as if she agrees with him.


Male Goblin Archivist (Bard)/4 AC 18, T 16, FF 13, | HP 28/28 | F +2, R +8, W +5| CMD 17| P 8 | Int +6 | Perform 12/12

Tabaaac blanches as the princess looks at him.

You uh, you look a lot like Penny, Princess he says lamely.


NPC:F Goblin* Cavalier/1 | AC 16, T 13, FF 14 |HP: 11/11 | F +3, R +2, W +0 | Init +2, P +2, I +0 |CMD 14

"You take that back!" Ehsmaralduh cries. Penny the Wise is a beautiful Human Girl, and her kind like the way she looks. I don't look like her at all."


Male Goblin Witch 4 | AC 18 T 14 FF 14 | HP 30/30 | F +4 R +4 W +6 | CMD 15 | Init +10 | Perc +14, I +2

Well, Tabaaac congratulations you made a girl cry. Very brave of you. No really, very brave! Now you have to go comfort her.


Male Goblin Archivist (Bard)/4 AC 18, T 16, FF 13, | HP 28/28 | F +2, R +8, W +5| CMD 17| P 8 | Int +6 | Perform 12/12

I didn't say that you were ugly! I just said you looked like Penny
Tabaaac waves his hand frantically in what is meant to be a placating gesture

Invoking Say your right word

Say your right word Diplomacy: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (16) + 8 = 241d20 + 8 ⇒ (13) + 8 = 21

Did I do that right for a 24 roll?


male

well yes, the roll was right, but your Rhyme was terrible, try harder next time! *sheesh* the Goblins I have to work with these days


Male Goblin Archivist (Bard)/4 AC 18, T 16, FF 13, | HP 28/28 | F +2, R +8, W +5| CMD 17| P 8 | Int +6 | Perform 12/12

*sadface*


NPC:F Goblin* Cavalier/1 | AC 16, T 13, FF 14 |HP: 11/11 | F +3, R +2, W +0 | Init +2, P +2, I +0 |CMD 14

Ehsmaraldah fumes, holds her fists by her sides, and then stamps up and down a few times.

Then she calms down, smiles at Tabaaac and says

Well, thank you for apologizing. Also, don't call me princess, Good Chief's Daughter, or Barer of the Ugly Stick Curse, is okay, but I am not a princess.

then she whispers to Tabaaac

Tabaaac and Perception Check, Roll 16+:
You know I think she is funny looking, but not ugly, not like some humans. Her ears are too small, but she has big eyes and nice hair. I was just saying that so that she wouldn't be offended. After all I think human's don't like being compared to us Goblins, even us ugly ones.


| AC 17, T 13, FF 15, | HP 24 | F +5, R +5, W +2 | CMD 16 | P +6, I +2

Wup manages to steal a bit of Goblax-BBQ meat pie before they are ushered out of the village, and stuffs as much as he can into his cheeks, walking along like a squirrel with his face puffed up with food.

He thoroughly ignores the talk of ladies and their looks because ew, girls. They have jurms. He heard it once. Anyway he's outdoors in his ELEMENT where he will show everyone how AMAZING he is.

Wup starts ripping a few fern fronds up and sticking them behind his ears and into his stringy, frizzly hair. AT ONE WITH NATURE. Hidden like a... like a... cat! Or something else that hides really well.

"We must be quiet!" he says in his somewhat shrill voice. "We must be sneaky! I have found excellent camel-flogs, see? You stick with ME and you'll be fine, fine, fine, because I am the greatest hunter... right?"

He looks around, hoping someone will validate him. However, he's pretty used to disappointment on that front. So Wuppy offers a salute to the chiefs.

"We'll do our best, we will not rest
"Until we've passed the three-key test!
"You'll be impressed! And our big quest
"Will end in MORE pie to ingest!"

He is proud of that one, he spent all night making it up to himself.


Male Goblin Witch 4 | AC 18 T 14 FF 14 | HP 30/30 | F +4 R +4 W +6 | CMD 15 | Init +10 | Perc +14, I +2

Perception: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (19) + 10 = 29

Looking at Wup, It be good, It be bad, It be meat, It be all we had. We be glad. I don't know that you'll get any better from me but I will try.

I will say Wup does bring the most... interesting things for me to cook.

Gemdar picks up some plants and tries to emulate Wup, munching on a few of the edible ones he picks up.

stealth: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (15) + 6 = 21


male

You really don't need to rhyme unless you want to take advantage of the Goblin Campaign Specific Trait, of "Say Your Right Words"


Male Goblin Archivist (Bard)/4 AC 18, T 16, FF 13, | HP 28/28 | F +2, R +8, W +5| CMD 17| P 8 | Int +6 | Perform 12/12

Tabaaac grins happily. He really doesn't want to offend anyone and it comes through. It's why he's found it easy to make friends despite his bookish ways.


| AC 17, T 13, FF 15, | HP 24 | F +5, R +5, W +2 | CMD 16 | P +6, I +2

I understand. But I like rhyming. :P


Male Goblin (Monstrous Humanoid) Sorcerer 4 (Wildblooded Fey/Sylvan Bloodline) - [ AC:15 T:15 FF:11 | HP:32/32 | F:+2 R:+5, W:+3 | CMD:14 | P:+7 I: 0/+2* smell ]

Fluuk gobbles up as much cucumber salad as possible, and gives as much or more to his buddy Klobber. After the magnificent and inspiring speeches, during which Fluuk takes copious notes, the journey through the lush Chasm begins. This is Fluuk's favorite area, and he feels a kinship to it. The Sylven Fey blood that runs within him surges and he raps Klobber gently on the head to slow so they can breathe in the myriad of scents and listen to the sounds of tasty insects buzzing about. After a moment, he goads Klobber on, riding in a special saddle on the ape's back Sort of like Master-Blaster.

Fluuk keeps his crossbow ready to bag any tasty jungle morsels, delicious birds and rodents live here...otherwise he occupies himself with changing the color of his ridiculously tall conical hat, every few minutes.


male

Day 1, Monday: Turn 90

Chapter One; Where our heroes investigate the voracious and sometimes insatiable appetites of the Choeropsis liberiensis Ferocius while attempting the dangerous crossing of the Wide River, just north of the Mysterious Dungeon

Your Adventure begins now!

Travelling through the lush, but cool, vegetation, the Goblin Heroes keep sharp eyes and ears open for signs of danger, from either large predators (the canyon floor is teaming with them), rival Goblin Tribes (not all Goblins are as well civilized and behaved as the tribes of the Good Chiefs), and other dangerous humanoids that can be found living along the walls of the canyon.

Their way is easy, there are many paths through the thick forest of the canyon floor, but all paths eventually lead to the Wide River

actually the Wide River is only wide in a few places, and is mostly just a stream of cool fresh water flowing lazily at times, and at others tumbling in swift and treacherous rapids as it winds it way from south to north along the canyon floor.

The thick jungle foliage gives way to a wide grassy clearing. The ground here rises toward the south in a gentle slope, and here the Wide River begins (at the southern most end of your range of vision, some one hundred yards away) as a stream about forty feet wide, then tumbles down a series of small waterfalls, separated by rocks and boulders that divide the stream over and over again, and eventually the waters collect in a large pond. And then flow out in another narrow stream.
The pond is approximately 4 acres in size.

There are small islands of rocks and boulders in the pond.
The pond is the home of a herd of notoriously ravenous creatures that Goblins tend to avoid.

They are called Choeropsis Liberiensis Ferocious, but no one knows why.

When you try to cross the river here, or the Pond, you know you will be attacked by these animals, as everyone knows they love to eat Goblins.


Male Goblin Archivist (Bard)/4 AC 18, T 16, FF 13, | HP 28/28 | F +2, R +8, W +5| CMD 17| P 8 | Int +6 | Perform 12/12

Tabaaac takes 10 on the appropriate Knowledge check for 18 (He can because he is a LORE MASTER)

AHH! I know about these things. Watch out Watch out!


What are those large animals hiding with their heads barely above the water, Tabaaac?


Male Goblin Witch 4 | AC 18 T 14 FF 14 | HP 30/30 | F +4 R +4 W +6 | CMD 15 | Init +10 | Perc +14, I +2

Gemdar looks for the creatures:

Perception: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (13) + 10 = 23

And what he might know about them:

Kn: Nature: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (14) + 7 = 21


Male Goblin Archivist (Bard)/4 AC 18, T 16, FF 13, | HP 28/28 | F +2, R +8, W +5| CMD 17| P 8 | Int +6 | Perform 12/12

Choeropsis Liberiensis Ferocious. They're cannibals! They like to eat goblins!


male

Gemdar:
You count 15 adults of these animals just below the surface of the water. Only their eyes and nostrils poke out above the water

Knowledge Nature 14+:
What’s to know? These are medium sized creatures, semi aquatic, about four to five feet tall at the shoulder, with barrel shaped bodies and large heads. They have four stubby legs with four even spaced toes on each foot. Their mouths can open almost 180 degrees. While most of this species are not aggressive, this variety, being voracious, really voracious, is highly dangerous. They can weigh up to 400 pounds.

If you think you know the Joke I am hinting here, PM me for a 100 experience point bonus if you guess right!

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