Frolicking Faerie Story Time

Game Master GM Kajiiata Zero

A silly and fun campaign to cut my teeth.


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Kalyna is savoring every morsel of the food while playing ping pong with the wine on her taste buds. She is engaged in intellectual conversation with Vedra and Sirian, though she loves meeting strangers as well and is very pleased with the company. Lander has other motives however...

Lander leans in close to the halfling and begins whispering things to her so the others cannot hear.

Lander: "I gotta say, I've always wondered what a cook tastes like, let a lone one of your 'kind'. How 'bout you start rubbin' your thighs together so my dessert is nice and warm... think I'll nab a bottle of Oshe Vahn 18 year and wait for you in my quarters," he says seductively as he lays a thick hand on her thigh, which can practically wrap around it completely.

Con(Persuasion): 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (14) + 3 = 17

Kalyna's Wis(Perception): 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (1) + 2 = 3
Sirian's Wis(Perception): 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (16) + 5 = 21

Kalyna is jovially drunk from the lovely dry red from Talrania. The stimulating conversation is also quite intoxicating, not to mention she was able to procure some of the lovely herb medley that provides a mild hallucinogenic effect. All in all, she is greatly enjoying herself and the company of her new colleagues.

Sirian hears Lander's comment loud and clear. He grins slightly and shakes his head at the matter, though he secretly wishes to see the halfling give her a nice loud slap in the face.


"Oh! Heavens! Watcha thinkin' yer doin' down near my Dowlands!?!?!"

Liva shrieks, startled by Lander's advances. Everyone stops eating, and looks toward the ensuing freakshow.

"Dunt you fergit, Mr. Woof-Man, that I am a LADY!"

SLAP!

Dr. Polas, sometimes wishes do come true

She glares at Lander, grabs her plates, and moves closer to the Elves.


Lander looks at the staring faces surrounding him with a s$$#-eating grin, having no remorse or embarrassment for what just happened.

"Hey now, folks. Nothin' wrong with askin'! 'Sides, that squat-porker looked like she could use some release." He stands up from the table and grabs a handful of his meal and gobbles it right out of his filthy hand. He then walks over to the bar and grabs that bottle of Oshe Vahn and heads for his quarters.

"Ya know where my chambers are, porky..."


After being utterly humiliated, Liva sobs uncontrollably.

"Sniff... I's jus' wannid finisha mah sweeets in peace!"

Vedra comforts her. "There, there. Don't mind Mr. Vane. He's just a no good sexual raider... if you ask me, he is Mr. Wrong! Quite insane to boot..."

Everyone finishes their desserts and adjourns to the Lounge for after dinner cocktails and conversation. Time passes, and one by one everyone retires to their quarters for a much needed rest.

Well, well, well...:

Lander is not really surprised when the little porkchop shows up in his quarters after midnight. She couldn't get his caress out of her mind. Feeling somewhat ashamed of her carnal attraction to the beast, she discreetly sneaks into his room for a night of wild passion.


As the Sun rises, Winston knocks on Kalyna and Vedra's door.

"Good morrow, Madams, please rise! Excuse my interruption, but your presence is required in the Parlor... immediately!" He has an urgent tone in his voice.

The group is assembled downstairs in the Parlor, the closed room to the left in the Hall. Captain Flavin and two of the Escort Guard Ensigns from dinner, Jaunde and Remy, are also present.

"We haven't received word from our men on the night watch. Duke and Andar should have been back hours ago. Kyle and Vera have also not responded to my stones. We are on high alert, ladies and gentlemen. Please go forth and report to us immediately. This does not bode well, I'm afraid." Flavin seems worried.

"Remy, Jaunde, you will wait here with me. This group is far more than capable. We will be awaiting news."

He turns his attention toward the party once more. "Here, take this sending stone and get a hold of us immediately upon arrival!"


"I find it surprising that Kyle and Vera did not immediately stone a message (slang for using sending stones?) when they arrived at the temple. Perhaps something happened to them before they even reached the proximity."


"Safe assumption, doc. Lets say it's true, then only a f~!+ing retard would go the same path they went to reach the temple. Could be other 'special interests' are at work here."


"I agree. Going the same way would be.... retarded. Any thoughts Vedra? Captain?"


"Don't worry, Captain, we'll get to the bottom of this! They're Escort Guard, anyone attacking them would be minced meat..."


"I fear our delay in investigating this matter is to blame. Historical data suggests there were Catacombs beneath the Black Temple. Considering Kalyna's experience there, perhaps the threat has come from within?"


"This is true...." The rogue wears the face of guilt as she feels as though her actions put good people in danger.

"If that's the case, then lets not delay any further."

My party was equipped and ready to go before they came down. We are ready to f&$# s!~$ up.


The party agrees taking a different route is advisable. After a quick breakfast (ostrich egg omelets, porridge with berries, and grapefruit) the group is off. Their new course adds an extra 15 minutes, but they safely arrive at the Black Temple around 7:30.

The ruins are astonishing! The Temple is a large cathedral like structure, black as night. The Gothic-esque building is crumbling with many obviously absent architectural features. A large doorway to the Temple Foyer is wide open, with the door itself disintegrated into the sands of time. While you cannot detect any activity within the building, beams of sunlight are visibly pouring into the dusty interior. You suspect the upper levels and portions of the roof have long since collapsed.

There is no obvious sign of the Ensigns or a struggle on the Temple grounds.

Derrick, ever the rule follower, says: "Holy smokes, would ya look at that! Better let Captain Flavin know we made it."

"Captain Flavin, this is Derrick Settagon, Escort Guard Captain, 1st Class. Reporting from the Black Temple, we've arrived unscathed. So far there are no signs of our missing compatriots. We'll report back as soon as we get more information."

Detective time! Roll for both, and if you pass the Perception check, and assuming you elect to investigate, you get the Investigation spoiler for free! If not, the party can take a moment to investigate.

At a Glance (Perception 18):

Out of the corner of your eye, you notice a bright glimmer emitting from a patch of weeds approximately 30 feet from the Temple entrance.

Deeper Look (Investigation 15):

Taking a peek around, you come across a severed hand in a patch of weeds 30 feet from the Temple entrance. As it lacks signs of long term decay, you deduce it was cut off less than 12 hours ago. It bears the Escort Guard insignia ring.

DM Only:

Derrick's Rolls:
Perception Check: 1d20 ⇒ 19
Investigation Check: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (19) + 1 = 20

Vedra's Rolls:
Perception Check: 1d20 ⇒ 4
Investigation Check: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (18) + 5 = 23


I need to add to the description of the Temple... imagine I typed this into the description... RETCON!

The domed roof of the Temple has long since collapsed, a shattered shell of a bygone era.


Kalyna Wis(Perception): 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (14) + 2 = 16
Sirian Wis(Perception): 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (13) + 5 = 18
Lander Wis(Perception): 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (14) + 7 = 21
Kalyna Int(Investigation): 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (10) + 5 = 15
Sirian Int(Investigation): 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (3) + 7 = 10
Lander Int(Investigation): 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (11) + 1 = 12

Kalyna: "Captain... I'm sorry." She shows Derrick the hand. "This must have happened while we were eating dinner."

Can she tell if the hand is male or female? Or perhaps Derrick recognizes it?

Sirian examines the hand further to determine the mode of separation.
Sirian Int(Medicine): 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (4) + 7 = 11

Lander begins searching the ground to look for clues, tracks, signs of conflict, etc.
Lander Wis(Survival): 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (14) + 7 = 21

Kalyna: "I will happily scout ahead to the temple entrance," whispers the rogue as she crouches and sticks to the overgrowth as she advances toward the Black Temple.
Kalyna Dex(Stealth): 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (10) + 8 = 18


Upon closer examination, Dr. Polas estimates the hand was severed less than 8 hours ago. It appears to have been removed with some degree of proficiency with a precision instrument, albeit violently. It is certainly a male hand.

Lander notices pools of dried blood and bloodstained marks on trees about 100 feet from the Temple entrance, in a patch of forest where Kyle and Vera would have come from. Here he finds two female hands, one bearing the same ring, another male hand, and a Sending Stone. He sees four strange lines in the earth, starting from this location and leading up to the Temple. These tracks look to be made by dragged boot heels. They are in line with several pairs of light footprints.

Follow Your Nose:

Lander ventures a little deeper in the woods and finds three corpses lying in the brush. They are middle aged men draped in black robes. Their heads are shaved, and their faces bear some bizarre markings. They appear to have been killed violently.

As Kalyna approaches the entrance, she hears what seems to be a faint humming. The closer she gets, the more distinct it becomes. It now sounds like several men chanting in a truly outlandish foreign tongue. The language seems bizarre but through their heavy accents you make out the words:

”Cecidit numen fati et dolum, transeamus ad sepulchrum tuum, quaerimus in essentia, sua ortus fuentia... In noeme Resurgetti, nos ata autemeti!”


If that s@~@'s draconic, Kalyna can understand it :)


Kalyna returns to the group, making sure not to make a sound. She approaches Vedra, but gestures to the rest of the party to keep their voices down.

"Did you hear that, sister? I do not understand the language, but I can repeat what was said if you'd like..." A cocky Kalyna boasts a near perfect memory, though Sirian dwarfs her capabilities for he possess a mental recollection rivaling the tards.


Vedra recognizes it as Karoosh and translates for the party.

Vedra whispers: ”Uh... this is most unusual... Their accents are unfamiliar, but I think they’re saying ‘Fallen deity of doom and deceit, stay still as we trespass upon your grave, we seek your essence to fuel his rise... In the name of the Resurgent One, let us pass!’ ... The Resurgent One? I am not familiar with this concept in ancient Karu Lore...”


Agreeing with Kalyna's suggestion, Lander mutely calls Sirian over with a subtle wave of his hand.

"I think this might interest ya. Don't touch the bodies too much... I'm still sniffin' the air around them. These aren't our men, and they seem to have been killed a bit recklessly. I doubt one of ours did this.... Seems we're caught in the middle of a menage a trois."


Without uttering a word, the doctor begins examining the bodies.
Int(Medicine): 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (6) + 7 = 13

Trying to identify the cause of death specifically, in addition to who or what may have caused it.


Responding to Vedra's translation...

"It is no doubt the ramblings and foolish prayers of a cult. Still, we haven't confirmed if they are the ones who attacked our company."

Wis(Investigation): 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (19) + 4 = 23
Kalyna is trying to get an estimate of how many she heard by separating the harmony of their prayers.


The good Doctor discovers their deaths were caused by slashing damage to the throat, chest, and cranium. Most likely the nearby sabre and longsword, both covered in blood, were the weapons used. These kinds of weapons are standard issue to Escort Guard Ensigns.

Meanwhile, Kalyna discerns there are 6 voices chanting.


Lander: "Uhhh. Yeah. I mean, they were killed by escort guard. Anyways, seems they lost the upper-hand...." He looks to his comrades for some minor tickle of laughter.

Kaylna: "If the situation were not so close, I'd laugh and call you clever. But we do not have time for this. There's roughly half a dozen of those whack-jobs in there and they more than likely have our comrades in shackles, or worse, are doing unspeakable things to their corpses."

"I think it's wisest I take point. More often then not, I am unseen when I wish not to be."

Lander: "That'll be hard for some of us following behind you, tuts..."

Ignoring the comment, Kalyna heads back toward the temple entrance. Once inside, she will survey the area.

My three pc's are approaching the temple stealthily. Let me know what rolls you'd like me to make :)


Hey, now check out your MAP! Tee HEE!!!!

Coming from the Foyer, you enter the Temple proper, and see the chanting men continue their prayer utterly unaware of your presence.

A quick glance around, you see the ritualistically mutilated bodies of the four missing Escort Guards; each of them had their throats slit, their hearts cut out, and their hands and eyes removed. All four are methodically arranged around the central Altar. On the Altar itself, you see a bloody pile of gore, presumably their detached innards.

You notice six chanters surrounding the Altar, each dressed in black robes with shaved heads, and elaborate facial tattoos... exactly like the men Lander found in the woods. There is one standing near the Altar with two in close proximity to his left and right respectively, and three more below them, completing a circle.

There appears to be several more bodies scattered about, which were not here during Kalyna’s raid. They are dressed similarly to the chanters, and appeared to have died violently. A quick inventory reveals a total four dead cultists within the building.

The rest of the group awaits in the Temple Foyer, while Kalyna is just inside the Temple proper. Given their intense concentration, there is almost no chance for detection at this distance. Derrick and Vedra advance behind Kalyna.


Dex(Stealth): 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (20) + 8 = 28
Dex(Stealth): 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (13) + 8 = 21

Kalyna sneaks up behind the cultist closest to her. She simultaneously covers his mouth, begins mimicking the chant, and then stabs him in the throat with her dagger.

Total dmg = 4+4+6+6+4 = 24.

She quietly drags the body closer to the door.


Kalyna ini: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (6) + 4 = 10
Sirian ini: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (4) + 5 = 9
Lander ini: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (4) + 7 = 11

Lander: "Way to go ya f*~!in' douche!"

Sirian: "That was incredibly illogical, boy!"


"AHHH!!!!!!!!"

Derrick is enraged at the sight of his dead colleagues and launches a full on assault.

Attack Roll: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (10) + 8 = 18
Piercing Damage: 1d8 + 6 ⇒ (4) + 6 = 10
Fire Damage: 2d6 ⇒ (5, 4) = 9

The cultist struck by Derrick's blow is mowed down nearly in an instant. Unfortunately, the Cultists' chant has been interrupted and they take note of the Party. The lead Chanter speaks.

"Ahck! More foeda servi Talothonians disponer! Stulti, nunc certe expergefacientia Exandibus perdat, et in omnibus nobis! Tu quoque immolari!"

Vedra quickly translates:

”Ack! More foul servants of the Talothonians to dispose of! Fools, now Exandibus shall surely awaken and wreak havoc upon us all! You too shall be sacrificed!”


Zealot Initiative: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (15) + 2 = 17
Acolyte 1 Initiative: 1d20 ⇒ 5
Acolyte 2 Initiative: 1d20 ⇒ 5
Cultist 3 Initiative: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (11) + 1 = 12

Derrick's Initiative: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (7) + 5 = 12
Vedra's Initiative: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (1) + 4 = 5


K Dex Save: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (17) + 6 = 23
S Dex Save: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (16) + 5 = 21
L Dex Save: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (17) + 2 = 19
To dodge falling steel rafter...


The lead chanter looks up upon the ruined dome roof and extends his hands toward the sky. He aims upward at a twisted steel rafter. Suddenly, a brilliant flame seems to descend from the sky onto the roof. The rusty spine of metal dislodges from the structure and plummets right to where the rest of the party (sans Derrick, whose brashness placed him out of harms way) is standing.

DM Only:

Plunging Metal Damage: 4d10 ⇒ (6, 2, 4, 8) = 20

Roll a Reflex Save (Dex Save, DC 14) avoid all damage. If you fail...
Take __ damage and Roll a Constitution Save (DC 11) to avoid being knocked unconscious. If you fail...
Roll a 2d6 to determine how long you’re unconscious for.

Vedra's Dex Save: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (20) + 4 = 24


Cultist 3, unfazed by the collapsed rafter, lunges at Dr. Vega with his scimitar.

"AHHH! MORTE, DOS NOSFANARRI!!"

Vedra understands this gibberish as "Death, to the DISBELIEVERS!"

Cultist3 Attack Roll: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (1) + 4 = 5
Slashing Damage: 1d6 + 1 ⇒ (6) + 1 = 7

Failing miserably in his attack, he somehow comically trips over one of the bodies of his dead cultist friends and drops his blade.


Derrick engages the nearest Acolyte.

"You want some of this, pal? ARGGH!"

Attack Roll: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (5) + 8 = 13
Piercing Damage: 1d8 + 6 ⇒ (7) + 6 = 13
Fire Damage: 2d6 ⇒ (3, 3) = 6

Drunk on adrenaline and craving revenge, Derrick cuts down another cultist effortlessly. This Acolyte is dead.


Thorn Whip @ Acolyte2: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (16) + 7 = 23dmg: 1d6 ⇒ 2

The Acolyte2 moves 10ft closer to Lander as he is pulled from his supernatural whip o' thorns.


Kalyna draws her pistols and, like a true desperado, points one at Cultist3 and another at Acolyte2...

Pistol@C3: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (16) + 6 = 22dmg: 1d10 + 1d6 + 4 ⇒ (2) + (4) + 4 = 10
Pistol@A2: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (7) + 6 = 13dmg: 1d10 + 4 ⇒ (7) + 4 = 11


Sirian moves just within five feet of the Acolyte2 and blasts him in the face with a noxious gas.

Poison Spray dmg is A2 fails: 1d12 ⇒ 5


Acolyte2 Con Save (DC 15): 1d20 ⇒ 17

The devoted Acolyte chants a small prayer and blesses the Zealot with the Sanctuary Spell.


Vedra, taking aim for the remaining Acolyte, sends forth a bolt of Eldritch energy.

Eldritch Blast Attack Roll: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (19) + 7 = 26
Force Damage: 1d10 ⇒ 1

She manages to make this fanatics pinky hurt somewhat.


The lead Chanter begins concentrating and praying, blessing himself with Shield of Faith.

Cultist3 spends a move action to grab his trusty blade off the ground and lunges again for Dr. Vega.

Attack Roll: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (16) + 4 = 20
Slashing Damage: 1d6 + 1 ⇒ (1) + 1 = 2

He slashes that stuffy b&+@$ with his scimitar. He hardly scratches her, but she still feels it.


Derrick moves to engage the lead Zealot. He feels a tingle in his brain.

Wisdom Save (DC 12): 1d20 ⇒ 7

Despite his desire to bring this madmen to justice, he is compelled to avoid harming the Zealot. He stands in place, arguing with himself internally.


Lander augments his body that tightens his calves, hamstrings, and glutes.

Casts Jump.

He then flicks his wrists and two blades shoot out from his sleeves.


Kalyna holsters her pistols and charges at Cultist3 with her saber.

Kalyna has adv. on charge atk, but all attacks against her have adv. for one round.
Charge atk @ C3: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (4) + 6 = 10
Charge atk @ C3: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (11) + 6 = 17
dmg: 1d8 + 4 + 2 + 1d6 ⇒ (1) + 4 + 2 + (5) = 12

"BYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! DIE YOU ZEALOUS FREAK!!!!!"


Pissed off with his spell, Sirian decides to deal with Acolyte2 the old fashioned way....

Bluderbuss atk @ A2: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (7) + 5 = 12dm: 2d8 + 5 ⇒ (5, 1) + 5 = 11

...and blasts his gut to smithereens!


Vedra and the others now turn their attention the sole surviving cultist.

Wisdom (DC 12): 1d20 ⇒ 10

She takes aim at him, but feels compelled to discharge her Eldritch Blast harmlessly to the ground.


The Zealot looks at the group with utter disdain. He prays again and suddenly the Temple shakes and the torches begin flickering. He speaks in a booming voice:

"ECCE, tremuntque mortalibus! Resurgetti non contineatur, et dolebunt super bestia excitatio infra! Transi hinc, et dic ad dominos suos Talothonian opus! BWHAHAHAHA!"

Vedra recomposes herself and translates for the group:
"He says: 'BEHOLD, and tremble, mortals! The Resurgent One cannot be contained! OH! How you will regret awakening the beast below! Leave this place, and tell your Talothonian masters to do their own work!' Uhh..."

"ABI IN MALAM REM!" She responds (Go to hell!)


Wisdom Save: 1d20 ⇒ 6

Derrick still is unable to attack this maniac. WTF? ARGH!!!! Derrick hates his life right about now.


"Ah, nice to see some fire in ya, baby!" referring to Vedra.

"Now, lemme show you pussies how you cut a priest's head off..."

Lander leaps into the air toward the Zealot with is blades drawn and ready for blood.

Wis save: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (5) + 7 = 12

Atk @ Z: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (20) + 4 = 24dmg: 1d6 + 1d6 + 2 + 1d4 ⇒ (2) + (6) + 2 + (2) = 12
Atk @ Z: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (10) + 4 = 14dmg: 1d6 + 2 + 1d4 ⇒ (5) + 2 + (4) = 11


Zealot Rolls a Con Save (DC 10): 1d20 ⇒ 9

His concentration has broke, dissipating the Shield of Faith. Though somewhat more vulnerable than before, his Sanctuary is still in effect.


Oh, I forgot to add earlier...

A substantial crack has formed on the floor and is slowly expanding toward the Altar. You attribute this to the impact from the collapsing steel support structure and the minor tremors.

The ground seems sturdy enough, and other than being a minor obstacle, a a structural collapse does not seem imminent.


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Will our heroes defeat this cuckoo extremist? Can the MacGuffin be uncovered? Will Derrick get a spanking for his reckless abandon? Did Lander contract a venereal disease from his sordid tryst with a plump midget? Find out NEXT TIME, on Frolicking Faerie Story Time!

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